Fear

[mymelancholysoul]

"Shes doing it again, can't you tell? Shes going through one of her phases..."

"She only does it for attention. If we leave her alone, then she'll come to her senses and stop."

I can hear them whispering as I lay entangled in sheets just one room over. They try to keep their voices hushed to make sure I don't hear them conspiring against me. Oh, but I hear them; I always hear them. When he comes back in, he has the glass in his hand, the other outstretched. He's trying to trade me; my knife for his alcohol. I know his tricks...he thinks im stupid. He thinks ill kill him and maybe hes right...maybe some day, Ill just snap. But for now, I toss the knife to the floor and knock the glass from his hand. Hes trying to make me sleep, I know he is. Brown hair falls over his hazel eyes as he shakes his head in dismay. At least he tried. When they leave and rejoin the group, I smile. This is my time to act, my only time. If I hurry, I can get to the bathroom and lock the door without being noticed. Barefoot and shivering, I dart out of the bedroom and down the hall, nearly tripping over someones shoes. The music downstairs drills into my ears as I try to gain some sort of perspective. Damnit. The blades are in my bag, my bag is downstairs being watched by them. With blue fingertips, I begin to search the cabinets for anything sharp or anything I could make so. Why the hell don't these people have scissors or razors in their bathroom?! Someones coming. Its them. I had to pee, yes I had to pee. A beer bottle. I can smash it, say it fell off the sink. Yes...yes that will work, they'll never know. When he opens the door, I hid the shard of glass in my bra. He frowns, holding out a blanket. I took a dip in the pool while it was raining again. He takes me back to the room and hugs me tight. The shard rips open my breast and I wan't to scream. But I smile and when hes finally gone, I smile more. Shaking hands reach into a dripping bra and pull out the perfect piece of art. I run into the closet and shut the door, I shake and try to breathe. Yes, I have it now. Im safe in here, no one will ever find me. Tearing away at my arm, blood spilling to the ground below. Im free. Im finally free. But the fear of being seen, of my last hope for salvation being taken away fills me with emense and undying fear. I cry and ball up in the corner bleeding wishing to just be set lose from my cage.

[hardcore]

i really like . you are a good wrigther maybe you should wrigth a book 8) you could be really good at it but if this is a cry for help well sorry to her that life sucks and then you die what more can i say . it sucks for ever one of us but it is no reson to give up hope . your pertty good i could almost feel you but i feel nothing at all i am perfictly empty lol 8)

[i_hate_the_world47]

That was awesome.Your a great writer.I hope none of this pertains to you.If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

 

~meagan~

[Aleksey]

wow. i am surprised such suberb writing comes from someone so young... even so, age doesn't matter, thought i am eager to see what you can write when you get older... =D