Not sure how to handle this.... :(

[dark angel9]

Boyfriend and me have been together for 6 months in a very close relationship. We talked about marriage and made many future plans. We never went a day without contact. In fact, it's rare for us to go more than few hours without any form of contact - even when he is busy.

 

He has gone to visit his homeland on another continent for 4 weeks. He has now been gone for about 1.5 weeks. First few days, he was in regular contact. He had a high speed internet connection where he was staying and we Skyped for at least an hour every day. Then he moved to a new place with no internet connection (but still good mobile phone coverage) and suddenly...all contact stopped. For the last 3 days, I have been initiating one text per day or so. I usually wait till the end of a day to see if he will contact me first which he doesn't do. Then I will text him. He always responds promptly and calls me "my love" or throws in "wish you were here". But he has not initiated any communication. We also agreed before that he will find a place to Skype me from every couple of days or so which he hasn't done (even though I reminded him).

 

I guess my concern is that he is with his partying single friends who always talk down about relationships and commitment. Bf is in his early 30s and he has been saying that he is sick of partying (well, apparently not). I guess I just worry that if I stop contacting him, he will just go a week or more without contact. He won't even initiate a simple text, let alone a phone call

 

Just not sure how to play this. I considered sending him a text along the lines of "why haven't you been in touch?" but that just sounds like nagging.

 

What would you do?

[DylanNotorious]

You should just let him have a good time overseas.

 

You don't need to contact him all the time. Sometimes people get caught up in other activities, they enjoy their holiday.

 

He will contact you, but when he has time. He is in another country remember.

[lavenderdove]

Cell phones and internet have turned into people leashes. Honestly, it is more healthy to be able to go a day without speaking and still love and trust the person. I'm not sure how old you are, but eventually you will have to go an entire day without contact as work and other responsibilities take over.

 

Remember, he's your BF, not your security blanket or teddy bear that you need to hug to you constantly to be happy. And if you do, then you probably need some therapy to learn how to become more independent.

 

If the real issue is that he has drug or drinking problems then he can do that regardless of how many times he texts you, and you need to decide whether you want to be with a man in his 30s who has drug/alcohol issues. He may be on an extended bender, or he may just be vacationing, or he could be off having sex with someone else. The truth is you just don't know, and you need to trust him if he's trustworthy, and if there's any doubt that he's not, that is a whole other problem that a few texts and phone calls won't solve and you'll need to deal with when he gets back.

[Ariel85]

In fact, it's rare for us to go more than few hours without any form of contact - even when he is busy.

 

Him taking a break from the codependence isn't a bad thing.