More intimacy?

[shygirl23]

I don't know who read my other post about not being ready to make out with my boyfriend, if you did then you might know where this is going. I told my boyfriend about a month ago that I wasn't ready to make out yet. He was completely supportive and understanding and asked only for me to let him know when I was ready. Well, a few days ago, I did. I told him that I was ready and explained what it was that changed my mind. So now what?

 

I don't think I'll have any problems on the kissing front (except for the fact that I'm not a good kisser), but what about if I decide to get more intimate? How do I let him know?

 

Maybe when we get more comfortable with kissing, how would we progress from there? I'm very far from sex or even fingering in that area. But, I might soon be ready for him to touch me in other places, like my neck and breasts. When I'm ready for this, how should I let him know? Should I just put his hands where I want them to be? Seems a little controlling. What if I did that and he wasn't comfortable with touching me yet?

 

Sorry, I just don't know how a guy's mind works. I guess I just need to know the best way to let him know. I don't have any problems talking to him about issues like this (the kissing thing for example, we've talked about that and analyzed it a lot), but I think I'd feel a little weird telling him that I wanted him to touch me. That's just me though.

 

So anyway, how best to tell him? Or what's the best way to ease into things like that? And what are some other intimate things that we could do? What do most guys like to do?

[June4life]

Hey! First, let me say that I think its very mature for you to come and ask about these things!!

 

I applaud you for your ability to talk with your boyfriend. That is the best thing in a relationship- conversation, and understanding!

 

If you are making out, and you decide you want to get more intimate, then I'd say go for it. Like you said, I would just put his hands where you want them- thats not controlling at all, and he'll love it! If you dont want to put his hands directly on your breasts at first, then put his hands on your hips, or up further on the sides. He isnt going to feel weird about it. He's a guy. I can guarentee he'll love it, and even if he was uncomfortable, it sounds like you have a great relationship, so he would back away if he felt the need.

 

As for other intimate things you could do-

My boyfriend and I have been together a long time, (almost a year!) but we havent had sex, simply because we arent ready yet. We are both virgins, and he is 3 years older than me. When we first started dating, we made out, and then sort of dry-humped. Lol, we were making out and he was sitting up in a reclining chair, and I just straddle him and continued kissing. He is probably going to get a hard-on from this, so if you aren't ready for that, then don't do that!! Just let everything flow on its own. Dont force anything either!

 

My relationship sounds a lot like yours, so if you'd like to PM me, feel free!!!

[shygirl23]

Thanks so much! So helpful! And I really appreciate the fact that I can confide in you. Thanks again, June4life.

[shygirl23]

Just curious, but does anyone else have any ideas for things that my boyfriend and I could do in the meantime? Just hoping for a few ideas, I guess...

[Mr. B]

Putting his hand where you want is seems fine, certainly never bothered me.

[shygirl23]

Thanks, Mr. B. It's nice to get a guy's take on that.

[Runesoul]

It's definantly not a bad thing. I am a pretty shy guy, and wouldn't want to accidentally cross a boundary, so letting the girl do it is usually better. One time at a movie theater, my girlfriend put my hand around her waist. At first I was surprised and awkward, but then I felt warm fuzzies (or something along those lines). Needless to say, it's quite nice. So don't think he doesn't like you just because he isn't fondling you (assuming you want him to)

 

Runesoul

[June4life]

shygirl, in the meantime whats wrong with a nice cuddle under a blanket watching a movie? I love doing this with my boyfriend. If you feel comfortable and want to move on, then go ahead, but if not, then you are your sweetie can enjoy a warm blanket and bowl of popcorn! lol!

 

I love these little moments with my boyfriend. The times when we just sit on the couch and watch a movie!

[shygirl23]

Oh yes! Cuddling is nice. Sometimes I'd rather just cuddle up against him with his arms around me than do anything else. And he does this thing where he lightly runs his fingers up and down my arms... Sigh............. Bliss!

[Supra1188]

yes cuddling is a very good idea plus with cuddling u can work further and more intimit (cant spell) but dont ruch ur self wait till ur comfortable

[shygirl23]

Slight troubles. My boyfriend and I have talked about the whole "ready" issue. I've tried to assure him that I really am ready to get intimate, but I think he's still a little hesitant. I don't blame him, after I basically freaked out the first time we made out, but I don't know how else to convince him. He's so sweet, he doesn't want me to do anything until I'm comfortable with it. Only problem is, I'm comfortable right now and I'm going to go crazy if something doesn't happen.

 

I think he wants me to make the first move so I can be in control, but I'm selfish. I don't want to make the first move. I'm so inexperienced, I'd rather that he did instead. I understand why he probably wouldn't want to and it's really sweet of him. So, either I figure out how to tell him that I want him to be in control for a little while (I told him last night that I wanted him to kiss me... there was a little more context there, but that's the basis of it), or I'll have to make the first move.

 

I've tried to make the move, but the only times I see him are at school and sometimes I carry him home after school. I can't just start making out with him at school (and face expulsion--eek), so the only other time I have is when I carry him home. Only problem is that it's usually just not a good time to do something like that. His parents are home, or one of us is in a hurry, or something. Should I just stop worrying and kiss him? Or what?

 

I have no idea. I wish I could be with him alone sometime. I tell him this all the time, but we both have evil parents and it's hard to work out a plan for a date.

 

Here's a little sidenote. I love touching him or him touching me. A hug, holding hands, whatever, and now that I'm positive that I'm ready for more intimacy, I've followed my little urges to touch him more. Like today for example, whenever I wanted to give him a quick hug, instead of thinking about it forever, I just did. We were standing around in a classroom and he mentioned that he was tired. I did a "my poor baby" routine (giving him the sad eyes, and I put my arm around him. I slowly let my hand slide down so that I was half hugging him and half rubbing his back). At another time today, we had to go to separate classes, and when I said "see you later," I put my hand on his arm and as I walked away, I slowly let my hand slide down his arm. When we were walking out to my car, I tried to hug him while we were walking and we wound up holding hands. Just things like that. But I thought they might be good hints.

 

Anyway, anyone have any advice? I think I'm making too big a deal out of this.

[shygirl23]

Oh, and something to add to the question about putting my boyfriend's hands where I want them (like my breasts)...

 

I'm a little on the small side. Naturally, I'm pretty small "up top" too. Do you think he'd mind? I mean, I'm barely even an A cup, so there's not much there for him to hold anyway. Do you think it would still be okay?

 

I don't really see why not, he's not the kind of person who would about my breast size one way or the other, but I wasn't sure if us small-busted few could get away with something like that or not.

 

Just wondering...

[shygirl23]

So.... What do you guys think?

[GN]

Well, on the point of cup sizes (and i am the most inexperienced person in the world) but i believe it really doesnt matter. He obviously finds you attractive because you are together, so your breasts cant be that bad. I personally love the idea of cupping a small breast, you can get bogged down in a triple D size or whatever they are lol.

 

Hope i helped.

[shygirl23]

So you don't think my padded/underwire/miraculous mountains out of molehills bras would be a turn-off?

[shyxmoon]

Shygirl, I basically joined these forums because you remind me exactly of myself. I comfortably talked to him about kissing, nearly freaked out when we first made out, I'm on the small side too, you get the point. I'm having the same problem with my boyfriend, although last night was our first 'real' kiss and I think I'm ready for more, but don't know how to show it.

 

I hope you'll get through to your boyfriend, it seems like he's a really sweet guy and won't mind it if you grab his hands and move them to where you want them. Best of luck to you, and please let me know how you got through to him!

[lunatic]

Coming from an older guy with a lot more experience in these matters I can only offer the following advice.

 

Only do what your comfortable doing. If that means putting his hands where you want them then do it. I must warn you though by doing this might get him really excited. Which means he may become a bit touchy feely.

So Keep this in mind that you are very young and need to take you time because experience will come with age. There is no need to rush into anything that your not ready to do. So I would say to put his hands where you want them. Breast size is not a problem and I can remember touching my first bra. It did not bother me one bit actually it had the positive affect on me if you get the drift... *wink wink*

 

I respect the fact that your mature enough to question yourself instead just doing it like everyone else.

 

 

Hubman 8)

[shygirl23]

Thanks you guys.

 

Your advice really made me consider my options and question whether or not I really am ready. I'm still not entirely sure, but I supposed I'll figure that out sooner or later. After all, like you said.. I have plenty of time. Guess I just wanted to be prepared.

 

Anyway, thanks again everybody for helping me out!

[Mr. B]

I'm a little on the small side. Naturally, I'm pretty small "up top" too. Do you think he'd mind? I mean, I'm barely even an A cup, so there's not much there for him to hold anyway. Do you think it would still be okay?

The guy already likes you, that should be of no concern. Besides, anything more than a handful is a waste.

[shygirl23]

Thanks, Mr. B. He and I have gotten a little more intimate since the last time I posted on this topic. I just kind of guided his hand into place while we were kissing... He didn't seem to mind. Of course there was the fact that his hand kept "accidentally" brushing over my breasts beforehand anyway.

 

I do still worry a little about my size, and I really appreciated getting your take on this. I like your philosophy there!

 

Thanks again, Mr. B!

[clueless]

you remind me alot of myself. I to know very little about the human male. I don't think your bf cares about your size. My bf acctually dislikes big top ends. I don't think many guys care what size they are when they get to feel them. My biggest tip to you is just to show him how much you care about him and keep things natural. By doing this my relationship has lasted almost 3 yrs and we don't see breaking up anywhere near in the future (we haven't even fought yet)

[seekinghappYness]

Sorry for bumping this...

 

But I was in the same situation as you. Yeah my bf and I were trying to find intimacy.. He kept stroking my arm and what not and I wanted to put his hand were I wanted it. I kind of put it on my upper stomach.. He asked me if it was ok for it to be there and I told him it was. Then he kind of guided it himself up there. I don't think it matters if the bra is padded or what size, at least I hope not. He seemed to like it though.

[Liam15]

Sorry if I'm dragging this up a little bit, but I just wanted to say that I'm someone who likes to be led If I was in that position, I'd really appreciate the girl putting my hands in place, I think it would make it much easier.

[ShySoul]

When it comes to breasts, guys just like the fact that they are there. Some may prefer big, some may prefer small. But most guys won't be complaining as long as they can touch them.

 

Most guys also won't mind if the girl does the leading and places his hand where she wants it. If anything I think it would be flattering to most guys to know that the girl wants you to touch her in certain places, and it helps solve the problem of how to be a gentleman while still touching her in intimate areas.