BabyO Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I can't believe it has been 8 weeks since the break up.....I can't believe that I actually have hope... I never once broke NC because I was sooooooooooooooo hurt that someone who devoted their life to me could just walk out on our love. I will NEVER forgive that! I thought that I would never get through this HORRIBLE time, but I think I made it...All of you out there who feels so hurt and crashed and had your life turned upside down, well, it truly does get better. I am living proof. I was the last to think this since my ex broke it off because of the long distance issue and nothing that major that I would ever heal. My whole worlds existence vanished when he left me. He was everything and we had a life. But, finally I realized that TRUE LOVE does not walk out and it fights to make it work out, unless the situation is abuse and then you are better off without them anyway. But, for me I can finally see a future without him. I thought I would never meet someone as great, but you know what I have been meeting men who are even better. I just had to open myself up again. I was not going to let one person ruin my life when they had no problem continuing with theirs. I will always now live by this phrase " Don't ever make someone a priority when they can only make you an option" You will move on and you will find another person who is waiting for you. See if things were meant to be with the ex then none of us would be here posting and broken hearted. I believe in faith and how the universe always has a plan, your new and exciting life plan is just waiting for you.....GO GRAB IT!!! Link to comment
steve87 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 While your message is a great one. Will the person that broke up with you move on? Will he/she ever find better or do you think he/she will never be as happy again? Link to comment
motleylou Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Nice post, I like reading positive stories. I like you can't believe that i'm finally at the light at the end of the tunnel. It took me 11 weeks and 6 weeks NC but I'm there and am ready to start living my life again. I like that quote a lot and the more I look back on the relationship I see just how much of an option I was to her. I sacrificed much more than she did, and never really saw it until after the breakup. I also now look at the relationship as a positive, I believe that people come into our lives for a reason, maybe to teach us a lesson, make us stronger or better ourselves for the future. There is a reason why our ex's came and left the way that they did and although it might not be clear now someday it will and we will see that we are better for having them in our lives. Everything happens for a reason and if it's meant to be then it will. Those were the last words I said to my ex and I stand by it, I was done begging to get back together and just left it at that. I agree with you that someone who truly loves you will fight through whatever's going on and will want to make it work. I would of done just about anything for her, but she had no problem leaving, so that's not someone who I have much faith in for the long haul. Were only 24/23 and were going through a small and I mean small family issue, so if she can't stick it out and deal with this little issue she's never going to be able to deal with serious issues down the road. So I turned the corner and just said well right now it's not mean to be but maybe someday it will or maybe it's just not meant to be, but I know that it is meant to be with someone out there. Having that attitude has helped me a ton to get through this tough breakup. Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 While your message is a great one. Will the person that broke up with you move on? Will he/she ever find better or do you think he/she will never be as happy again? 9/10, yes. Our feelings (usually) fade after the breakup, with time and distance. It may take months or even years, but the vast majority of people get over it, even if they were ripped to pieces at the time. Would you want it any other way? A guy would really have had to do a number on me for me to wish them perpetual pain. It's probably more harmful to you to hang onto that much resentment than anyone else. I think OP's post was excellent and I completely agree. Link to comment
obx Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 i agree..great, positive post. I love that quote and use to use it all the time with a previous breakup! This time, things started to go bad for me in the beginning of May after we got back from a trip. We had a stupid fight then i found out he went and asked a friend to set him up witht his girl and I found out a few days later that he was writing her on facebook and planning to meet her! exchanged phone numbers and everything..made plans to meet up...and he was still with me! I was devastated..the final breakup wasnt until the end of may..but now I see he is in a relationship with her now...it hadnt been even a month since they were an "item" gag..I mean really?! Well I was strong at first and got my stuff..said I deserved to be in a healthy relationship where someone wouldnt go behind my back and start something when we werent really broken up. Then a week later I pleaded for us to work out. For a month I texted..got decent responses but nothing initiated or converstion starters. So I decided to do NC starting on June 28th..it has been hard but not as hard as I thought. I keep thinking of the bad times and have been trying to stay busy and be hopeful and do things I need to do..like clean/rearrange my apt, etc. I am worried that I may lose hope as time goes on. I do want to try and meet someone..not jump into anything serious..but its going slow..I have just been meeting idiots at bars. That is not the place to go! haha. So I'm thinking of joining a gym just to get out and meet people..haha..even though a have a free small gym at my apts. But yeah, the power of positive thinking is key! or I think we could all go into the depths of despair and sleep all dayand just be depressed. WShat good would that do though..none! But we are better and need to prove to ourselves and maybe to them..that they can't destroy us..they dont have that power..we are better..and karma will come to get them hopefully! Listen to breakup empowerment music too..Sara Evans - Stronger, etc I'm on day 17 NC and getting stronger...I do wonder if/when I might happen to hear from him..but it doesnt consume me anymore...I'm trying to live my life and make it better..for me. Link to comment
BabyO Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 I 100 % believe in Karma, and I have seen ex's in my past get what they deserved. It was nothing that to get them back, but the universe will eventually kick you in the butt when you do someone wrong! As for your post Steve 87...... While your message is a great one. Will the person that broke up with you move on? Will he/she ever find better or do you think he/she will never be as happy again? I don't really care!!!! He made the choice to leave me, and he will have to deal with the regret if that occurs. We had something very real and if small obsticales were to much for him to handle, and made him break up this relationship. Then let him live with the memory and pain, because I will be happy once again. I know I did nothing wrong in this relationship and did nothing to cause the breakup......So, all the guilt will weight on his shoulders not mine... I just feel when someone walks out on you, and does not regret that decision in say 48 hrs, then that thought of ever taking them back MAKES me SICK!!!!! Link to comment
Meriem Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 BabyO I'm with you on that one, I'll never take him back no matter what..... I did everything for that relationship gave 110% and he decided to leave, well good bye then.. I'm better off without some one who I don't mean too much to anyway.. Link to comment
Hellhath Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I like that saying and I am stealing it . I recently came to the conclusion that I no longer want relationships... at least not I don't want to search out for another one. If someone wonderful comes along and convinces me through repeated actions and deeds that they are mature and want a partnership... then I will relent. I'm done rushing from dating to "relationships". I want something healthy and supportive. Posts like this give me hope... thanks for posting. Link to comment
veneratio Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Great post BabyO, I agree 100%. True love doesn't walk out on you. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 great [ps thank you for sharing Link to comment
mynameishope Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Nice post! Glad to hear you're feeling better and nice title I recently found out I was just an option so I let him have all the options in the world except for me. Meriem - love your attitude! Link to comment
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