"My heart is in a happy place"

[Oasiswater]

First let me say, I know.. I know, I know, I know.

 

I was stupid tonight. I shouldn't have checked her facebook, but I started thinking about her so much and I just had a really, really strong urge to do it. There were a few updates about how she is going to regret breaking up with me forever, how she "just told the only thing i love in my life that i don't love him anymore," etc. But there was an update from twelve hours ago that said, "My heart is in a happy place." This really hurt me.

 

I instantly started thinking about all of the promises she made me even up to last month, about how she'll do anything to make this work. I couldn't help but feel like she lied about everything. Every single day, every time I check my phone, I hope that one of my new emails is from her. It never is. It never will be. She doesn't want me back in her life and that's final. I guess the closure I ran away from two weeks ago is finally hitting me smack in the face. My mind KNOWS that the girl I miss is gone. She's a completely different person now, and even if we were to get together, I wouldn't be comfortable with the person she's become.

 

I think in my own desperation, I'm finally moving out of the denial stage and into bargaining.

[Chuck Bartowsk]

Right there with ya my friend. Stay strong and NC!

[chitown9]

The person that you loved is gone. She is dead. It is ok to be sad about it as you would by the death of a loved one. As time goes on you will heal.... chi

[banal]

Yup. Same here. I defriended my ex, so I don't really know what she's up to, but other than a few impersonal emails we exchanged, I've had no contact from her. Knowing her, I'd wager that she has moved on completely, as if I had never existed. Really makes you feel small.

 

I can say that it is helping me to 'get over her' quicker; bitterness and resentment, with a flavor of NC, go a long way toward that.

[Oasiswater]

Yeah, I think I just happened to find myself in a really bad place tonight.

 

This girl blindly added me on facebook and has been chasing after me wildly despite my reluctance. I'm not even attracted to her, but she won't give up. Tonight she was expressing her desire to hook up with me, and I think debating whether or not I wanted to do it is what caused me to go back there, emotionally. After shedding a tear or two, getting over the wave of emotion, I think I'm back to letting my mind prevail. I'm glad I didn't send the email that I wrote up.

[Mellie]

It's really pretty juvenile when people use FB like that. Fine for reconnecting with old friends.... Mind you, half the time you soon realise why you were disconnected in the first place... Fine for chit chat with friends who aren't local then but I'm not a massive FB fan. I just think it's childish when people put out something so personal, that should be discussed between two people (or with her friends - whatever) out there for whooooole world to see. Especially you. It's a test to see if you're looking, so she can get a big ego massage if you react and she finds out that you are. It's lame. If she genuinely has something worth saying to you, she won't be going about it like a 5 year old in the playground. She'll find a more direct, less attention seeking route. Sounds like a total drama queen. They get boring in the end.

 

EDIT: I mean the ex, not the one looking to hook up.

[Oasiswater]

I agree with you Mellie. She's doing it to get a rise out of me...

Proof? She added my best-friend (because I have her blocked). Guess she was hoping he'd accept and then tell me everything that's been on her wall.

 

Thank you for helping me see ONE more reason why I should seriously be over this stupid girl.

[hello678]

It sounds like shes attention seeking honestly. You should never post relationship stuff up on FB.

[delboi]

haha I did that early on in my BU too mate, but then the pain it caused made me realise then and there to delete her, but it still takes a few more times before you really manage to never look lol.

 

I thought about this the other day actually, do you think that... If you never look at her pics, lets say you see one somehow before you are completely over it, its going to hurt you and get the emotions going all over again... But if you looked at her pics everyday surely you would get bored of seeing her and when you see them in the future they would not shock you, and you would be indifferent...

Not that im reccommending anyone to try this!