What makes a woman "A keeper"

[MissingSparkle]

I was just reading another post where it made mention to a woman not having the qualities of "A keeper" so I was curious to know what you guys thought are some qualities a woman should have to be considered good enough to keep.

 

I'm still in the process of getting over my ex and when we were together he use to emotionally manipulate into thinking whatever I was doing on a relationship wasn't enough.

 

I feel some qualities are: being emotionally supportive, loving, not being judgmental, honest and loyal. But according to my ex I wasn't doing enough. What do you guys think?

[CMS]

I was just reading another post where it made mention to a woman not having the qualities of "A keeper" so I was curious to know what you guys thought are some qualities a woman should have to be considered good enough to keep.

 

I'm still in the process of getting over my ex and when we were together he use to emotionally manipulate into thinking whatever I was doing on a relationship wasn't enough.

 

I feel some qualities are: being emotionally supportive, loving, not being judgmental, honest and loyal. But according to my ex I wasn't doing enough. What do you guys think?

 

Sounds like he is not the keeper for you. Time to find a guy that you approve and approves you for who you are in return and for the love of god, take him down from the pedestal.

[Jd1983]

I agree, that he is NOT the keeper in this.

 

Remain the way you are, because I think you're doing just fine. Don't change your ways just to please anyone. When the right guy comes along, he'll love you for everything that you are - flaws and all.

 

Some guys will never appreciate anything that you do for them, because nothing will ever feel 'enough'. Don't let this make you feel otherwise, because the problem isn't with you, it's with them.

 

Based on personal experience, I did everything possible for my first serious bf, and yet nothing I did seemed good enough. I tried to change for him (bad mistake) and it still wasn't good enough. I then came to terms that it just wasn't meant to be because if you're truly happy with someone, you wouldn't feel the need to constantly try to please them, because they will just be happy with who you are.

 

At this place in time, I'm the happiest I'd ever been. I found someone who appreciates me, and loves me despite my many flaws. In fact, he tells me that it's because of my flaws, that he loves me even more.

 

Don't settle for less than you deserve, and don't put yourself down because one person felt you weren't good enough because chances are, there will be someone else right around the corner who finds you perfect in their eyes.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I've always believed it's best to not analyze what went wrong in a seriously flawed relationship. Looking to "improve" or make yourself a "keeper" with an emotionally abusive partner, really isn't a path you want to take again, is it? Don't look for a way to find and "fix" your next abusive relationship. That's like picking out china patterns for the Titanic. Instead, look for a way to avoid abusive relationships in your future.

 

Is this a pattern for you? That's something worth exploring. Have men in your past relationships said anything remotely similar, or did you get the feeling that they felt that way? That is a valuable question to ask yourself. If your answer is no, forget it. If your answer is yes, then you should study whether you feel you are drawn to emotionally abusive men, or if maybe you do have some relationship skills to work on. Answering these questions first will help your next relationship flourish.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What someone considers "a keeper" may not be what someone else would consider "a keeper". Lots of people won't leave an alcoholic because they love the person despite the drama and destructiveness. So this alcoholic is considered "a keeper" for this one person while others might consider the alcoholic a loser and not relationship material. There are people who don't consider kindness and generosity and good will positive attributes for a relationship, and they gravitate to the real troubled souls who are nasty....those are "the keepers" for them. In the end you have to be true to yourself..because you have to be "a keeper" for yourself. Don't count on others to see you as "a keeper" because these days relationships are so transient you could be considered "a keeper" one minute and someone disposable the next minute.

[NightLily]

Hmm I would say maybe look at people in relationships you admire. Couples who have stayed together for 10-20+ years and maybe pay attention to their dynamic. Obviously you need to be trustworthy, open, willing to work with somebody else (the needed basics that most people don't have). Other than that, if that other person can make a relationship work and be a keeper, if you are up to par with them you should be able to as well.

 

I think it is actually more about having those foundational needs in a partner and then not having a long list of deal breakers.

[lalalollipops]

Adding onto your list, reliability, someone with integrity and someone willing to compromise and communicate, open minded! N a go getter =). Also I need someone who really challenges me mentally. As in mental stimulation.