A Dangerous Game With Ulterior Motives

[easty23]

Me and my ex have been split for 6 months. On saturday I babysit my 1 child with her and her 2 children from previous relationship. When she came half drunk I told her that I still loved her and although I knew she did not have any feelings for me I was going to make changes in my life and come back for her and that I didnt want her back now. Her reply was no matter what i did it wouldnt make a difference ever. Today i spoke to her about 2 text messages i sent her and she re-iterated that her and me was never going to happen. Anyway i went round to see the kids and told her that a holiday to florida had become available to me in february and would she consider coming along with the kids no strings attached. she said yes. i said i still had concerns about this as what if she met somebody else in the meantime as feb is still a long way away. she said if she got involved the other person would have to accept she was only doing it for kids and that would be it if they didn't. now by reckoning the chances of her finding somebody who will accept this are pretty remote as they will see me as a threat whatever she says. Here is ulterior motive. in the time between now and feb i am going to use that time to get my life in order physically and otherwise to show i have changed. does anyone thing i playing a dangerous game as she thinks i have no ulterior motive.

[ravens_folly]

I don't think there is anything wrong with you trying to fix your life up in the meantime before this trip.

 

I think it all sounds decent.

You want her back, she says no way.

 

You ask her to come for a vacation with the kids, she accepts.

 

I see nothing wrong with it anyways. If you make yourself better and your life better... well then who can argue with that?

 

If she sees that maybe she might change her mind and realize she made a mistake... and if she doesn't, well your all the more better off with yourself and shouldn't have a hard time finding someone else who can appreciate you.

[Hopingpraying]

I completely agree with what Raven said. It is a good idea for you to improve yourself, what you have to be careful of is even if you do all this make sure you are doing it for you and not her. You may do everything you think you can and she still doesn't want you back, don't let that deter you from making yourself the best man you can be. Do it for yourself and for your kids.

If you are genuine she should see that and maybe have a second thought or two, but there are no guarantees.

[easty23]

I JUST WONDER IF IM SETTING MYSELF UP FOR A FALL. THE OTHER MAN ENTERING THE EQUATION IS A WORRY. THERE ARE 6 MONTHS BEFORE THIS VACATION AND A LOT CAN HAPPEN. SURELY ANY MAN WILL SEE ME AS A THREAT I KNOW I WOULD AND THIS COULD WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE. ON THE OTHER HAND I COULD END UP GETTING STUNG AND THE NEW MAN INSISTS SHE DOESNT GO AND SHE AGREES. THIS WOULD LEAD ME RIGHT UP THE CREEK.