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Lots of relationship problems


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This is going to be a very long post, so sit back and grab a drink.


I have been dating a girl for about a year and a half. We started having sex a week into the relationship, and she got pregnant. She/we decided to have the baby even tho we were not ready in any way. I was unemployed at the time. During the beginning of the pregnancy, I had a very hard time. She had just gotten over a very bad break up, and was very resentful and unhappy with me. I found a job, and we moved into a 1 bedroom apartment. Everything started going better. Then she started getting upset with me because I was in a low paying job and was not currently looking for a better one. This was my fault. I found a better paying job, we had the baby, and things were going better. She would take care of the baby during the day, and I was making enough money for us to live comfortably. I decided to propose.


Then several problems popped up at work including a breastfeeding incident which ended up in me being fired. It was at this point she started going to school. It was just 2 classes at campus and 2 online classes. This worked out fine because I could take care of the baby while she was at class. After about 4 months of being unemployed (I was looking and had been on quite a few interviews), she decided to call off the wedding and engagement and break up with me. She said she wasn't happy. We had a very long talk and I convinced that everything would get better. Lucky, I found a job within the next month, because we were getting low on funds. I felt that she was not being as supportive as I would have liked, but I was doing everything I could not to lose her.


Then the worst thing happened. I got frustrated and hurt the baby. It caused no major injuries, but she did bruise. I know all of you are thinking that I am an awful person, and I am for doing such an awful thing. I am currently going to consoling and trying to get help for my anger issue. I want to make sure that it never happens again. She kicked me out of the apartment (rightfully so), and I lived with my parents for a week. She then called me up one night and wanted me to come over because she missed me. We are still very careful about me taking care of the baby. I am never alone with her. One day, about 2 weeks later, I got frustrated and slammed a door. She once again kicked me out of the house for a night. We are now living together again, but she says that we are not "together" until I am fixed. I completely agree with this, but I feel like I am being used. I pay for everything and she uses one of my cars. She still wants to kiss and cuddle occasionally, but has recently expressed wanting to sleep with other people (only girls she said, but i don't know if I believe her). I want my daughter to have everything she needs, but I feel like I am getting walked all over. Do I deserve to be treated this way because of what I did?

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If your goal is to fix the issues that caused you to injure your child, then I think you probably need to step back from this relationship to do that. You guys are still emotionally and financially dependent on one another, even if you're not technically "together". So it may be beneficial to cut ties right now and focus solely on fixing your anger management problems. That means living separately and having limited contact.

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