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Did I blow my chance?


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I've known this girl since middle school, and for years there was always a definite interest between the two of us. The problem was one of us was usually in a relationship so nothing could ever happen. We did actually date briefly, but we were so young that doesn't really count. We went to the same college for one year, then she moved away. I just graduated college, and I haven't really talked to her since then, other than one or two run-ins or random facebook posts.


Two people from our graduating class got married last week, so I took the opportunity to call this girl and ask if she was going. She didn't answer so I left a quick voicemail. She ended up texting me right back, saying she couldn't talk on the phone right now, but asked what's up? I asked her if she was going, she said she wanted to but couldn't because she was out of town all week. I asked if she would want to get together when she gets back and catch up, and she said "for sure. I would like that."


The week went by and I went to the wedding and all. I didn't expect to hear from her at all, and wasn't going to make another move for a couple weeks. As it turned out, she texted me the day after she got back, asking how the wedding was. We went back and forth talking about the wedding and her trip out of town for a little bit, then I asked if she would want to get together sometime this week. This was on a Monday. She said yes, that sounds like fun. I told her I was busy Mon and Tues but would give her a call Wed to see what's going on.


Today is Wed and I called her around 2:00. She didn't answer, and I didn't leave a message. She texted me back about 15 minutes later. She said sorry, she was at the library doing school stuff. What's up? I texted back about twenty minutes later and said exactly "Just wondering if and when we can get together in the next couple days." I never heard back.


I guess that was only a few hours ago, and theoretically she could be busy doing something, but it doesn't seem likely. At this point it seems like I scared her away for whatever reason. This is why I prefer talking to texting. If she didn't want to see me and was just being nice by saying she did, she didn't have to sound so happy about it, and she didn't have to text me on Monday. Am I right? It does not seem like she has a boyfriend, but I guess I don't know for sure. If she doesn't get back to me, do I try again tomorrow, or do I just let it be now?

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It sounds to me like there wasn't much to blow in the first place. You haven't done anything wrong. You've expressed plenty of interest in meeting up with her but she's not all that eager it seems.


Strange she seems to be avoiding a phone conversation. You've made two attempts to schedule -- back off and she'll come to you if she really does want to meet.

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She might just be too shy to talk to you on the phone, but even so - I'd leave it tonight and ring her again tomorrow. I would leave a voice message for her to call me back. If she text me straight after that, I'd ignore it until she actually rung me back or asked me to re-ring her.


You wanna talk to her on the phone right? So make it happen that way.

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Yeah I've definitely noticed how she seems to be avoiding actually talking on the phone. The first time she may truly not been able to talk, but today she was at the library and easily could have slipped away for a minute to call me back.


DylanN: Do you think trying again tomorrow might make me seem desperate and annoying? I suppose I might still hear from her tonight, but I'm not counting on it.

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