Seeing your ex's new interest.

[Buffee]

I have been split up with my ex for two and a half months, and I would have figured by now that things would be getting easier. We have tried to be friends, but I am not sure its working out in the long run.

 

We still see each other once a week at baseball, but don't really talk to each other there, as it is mostly his friends that play on the team.

 

The other weekend a friend of his let it slip who he is "sleeping" with now, and he invited her along to watch our softball game last night, even though he knows that his friend has told me who he is with, and that I have requested that if we are to try to be friends, that I didn't really want to know about the dating side of his life at all.

 

As much as I know he is out there with other people, it still kinda hurt to have it flaunted in front of me.

 

How do you deal with this....do you say something to him, or just suck it up and deal with the hurt yourself?

 

I have asked other friends why he would invite her along, when he knows I am not really ready to deal with this situation yet, as well as he does other things that he knows will probably upset me. My friend thinks he still does all this stuff cuz he knows it will get my goat, but if he is the one who ended with me, why would he continue to do this?

 

Buffee

[evepm]

2 1/2 months may seem like a long enough time for you to heal but sometimes it just takes as long as it takes. There is no time limit to when you are supposed to heal.

 

I don't think that it possible to jump from a relation into a friendship. It rarely works because inevitably one person still has feelings for the other and the "friendship" is as way to hang on to the person. The fact that you wanted to be friends with him but you made conditions on that friendship means that you were not ready to be friends with him.

 

As far as your ex "flaunting" his new girl in your face, I don't think that's what he's doing. As much as you may not like I believe that he has simply moved on.

 

For your own happiness, implement no contact with him. Even though you see each other every week at baseball, you need to not bother with him. Perhaps you could try to take some of your own friends with you to baseball so that you have a support system with you. I am not saying that you should be rude to him but it seems to be hurting you to have any sort of relationship with him.

 

Take care,

Eve

[lisaria]

Hey Buffee,

I agree with evepm, it does sound like he has moved on. I know that hurts to hear, but you will be ok. He is not thinking about you or your feelings when he brings his new g/f to the game. I don't know how you are doing it. It's been more than six months for me and I would probably collapse completely if I were to see my ex with his new g/f.

Who says you have to be friendly to the guy? Hell, be bit#*y if you want to, if it gets you through with your pride and dignity intact. But do not let him see you down about this. Be the happiest person at the game. He doesn't have to know he's still hurting you. Don't give him that.

Two and a half months is no time at all to get someone you loved out of your system. It just shows how much more you can love than he can.

Take care Buff and good luck to you.

lisaria

[Jake212]

Its going on two months for me now since my boyfriend broke up with me and Buffee's situation is pretty much the same as mine. We tried the friends thing imediately after he dumped me, did'nt work out. Now I dont talk him at all, when I see him out I just wave and walk away. It takes the sting away because after two month the pain is still there. I saw him last week with his new boyfriend and it hurt....bad, so I walked away, and the further I got away the less it hurt. The point is he is not falunting his new girlfriend in front of you, he has moved on. And you need to do the same, this site has so much infromation about how to let go of someone and make your life happier and its good advice, I've used it and it helps. The pain will eventually go away, how long it will take is anyone's guess (I still hurt as much today as two months ago, just not as often) but you need to do things to get past it. One thing is maybe to stop going to the games.

[TrueHeart]

Well, after 2.5 months-- the hurt can still be there.. However, him flaunting it in front of you might just is rude, perhaps even if he's been really cordial to you otherwise-- then again, he might not think that it bothers you anymore.

 

Personally, I would just really blow it off the best you can. You know there will be others out there for you to enjoy as well, the last thing you want to do is look like a jealous XGF who can't get over her XBF after 2.5 months.. Just isn't fair to you ultimately....

[Angelicfruitcake]

Hey I finealy met my ex new g/f after a year we had split up (she never came to any of our partys) It kinda hurt.... it does hurt to see someone you liked with a new person, like it hurts to see someone you like with someone else. We'll id just tell you to ignore it, dont be the jelous interfereing ex just let it blow over you. you will find a replacement for him. thats what happened between me and my first boyfriend... when I first met his new g/f i dident like her but after I ket go of all the memories and what had been I realised she was an extremly nice girl.