What's her decision?

[otrebla]

Hello

After my gf for 1 yr 8 mths dumped me because we were fighting a lot and she found a new bf, I first begged her, pleaded her to think about it, and realising it didn't work, she even said I was pathetic. well, she asked me for a month to think about it, I agreed and did nc but she called me 2 days later, just to know how I was, time passed and we had some nice moments on the phone, never talking about our relationship, then a month had passed and I didn't say anything,

But I called her last Friday and invited her to take a coffee, she said: "Ok, let me tell you tomorrow..." I said ok and then I said I miss you, she just say: "really?". that was Friday.

I were all Saturday at home waiting for her calling, she called at 10 pm and we were talking for an hour, when she was about to hang I told her if she had accepted my invitation for a coffe, she said coffe in the morning?" I said ok, let's go for an icecream, see you tomorrow.

Then on Sunday morning we had a date, when we saw each other after being apart for 40 days, I was shocked to see her again, and so she was, she said I was totally changed, new pants, new shoes, and I was wearing a shirt she gave more than a year ago. She said I was an improved formula of myself. She was using the bag she was using when we meet for the first time, a very old bag. She has a lot of bags, why did she bring that one?

We talked, laughted, and she told me her 5 year old niece was asking where I am, went for icecream in a place where there is a lot of people, at first I could control my emotions, she was looking a lot at my eyes, as she says she likes my eyes, we stood a while staring each other, then I embraced her, after a while of walking and me embracing her a lot and telling her how beautiful she was(I could not control my emotions) she said she had to go, I couldn't stand it and I tried to kiss her, she said no, I said nobody will know, she didn't accept she wanted to kiss me.

Then I said I had to tell her a lot of things, that the month has elapsed, but I was still waiting, that I love her and I know I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship, that I could live with or without her but I know there is something special between us, she said she had some things to say too, but she had to go now and she had no time to say everything, that seeing me again was such a great thing, but...

After a while I said: "but?" she said, oh, nothing I was not thinking about it anymore. We were silent, then when she was leaving I said: "Have you missed me?" and she said: "Yes, I've been missing you." and she gave me a little kiss in my lips, she left, I know she was going to see her bf.

Now, I don't know what's her decision, didn't she say anything because she doesn't want to hurt me?, or because she's in a relationship now and doesn't want to cheat on her bf?, what should I do?, I'm moving on, but this date made me think even more about her and I'm not able to know her decision.

I cannot stand uncertainty about this.

Please, give me any advise so I can be more calmed.

Thanks in advance.

[dpressedone89]

i think she wants you back, she was probably tryin to make you jealous with the new guy so soon after the break up, then She broke NC then she accepted your invitation, and kissed you at the end of the date, that seems pretty clear. i might be wrong but dont be surprised if she cuts her new guy loose soon.

-stitches aka The Antihero

[otrebla]

Thanks dpressedone89.

I hope you are right, though I can't see anything clear...