I just...can't...come....!

[sprkal]

I often feel guilty about this problem that I have. The problem is that when my boyfriend gives me oral sex it takes about an hour for me to be able to orgasm, and that is quite a long time - his mouth and tongue get quite sore. My other problem is that I cant always come to orgasm anyway - its only 50% of the time that I can!

 

Has anyone else experienced this problem? I love it when my boyfriend goes down on me, but Im worried that he's starting to tire of it because of how long it takes and how sore/numb he can get. What can I do to help myself come a bit quicker? When I masturbate myself I can sometimes come within 10 minutes, so it IS doable!!! And I cant stand to have him manually masturbate me because he tends to hurt me a little bit when he does it, which ruins the experience lol.

 

Any ideas?

[Trigve]

um, if your bf doesn't really want to do it for you, and you prefer to do it yourself anyway, isn't the solution pretty obvious?

[sprkal]

I never said he doesnt want to do it. He does. And I much prefer him to do it rather than me - it just heightens it all so much more for me.

 

 

[skeeter]

Do you talk your bf through the oral pleasure or are you silent? Sometimes talking may be distracting however, performance comes from experience. Sometimes experienced is learned by voice and not just that we expect each other how to please one another.

 

Do you use any sex toys?

 

Yes it can be very tiring after awhile. I have only come accross this a few times with my girl but always found ways around it either talking to her to find out what feels best or orally probing her rectum with finger while going down on her.

 

When you say he hurts. Is this because his fingers are to rough? Dry skin maybe? It's always best that he wets his fingers first as well.

[sweetpea4670]

I understand exactly what you're talking about; I have the same problem! I can masturbate on my own in like 5 minutes but I love it when my boyfriend goes down on me; however, it takes forever and I feel really bad. And then he'll try to manually masturbate me and it gets too rough and I lose the arousal. I'm not sure why it takes so long, but I would guess it's just the level of comfort that we feel when we are by ourselves as opposed to having someone going down on us. I really don't think that it's experience, because he is very good and it feels very good, I just can't orgasm very quickly from it. It takes him a really long time to come too when I give him head.

[June4life]

I think the only solution to this is good communication. Just talk to your boyfriend about when he manually stimulates you. Tell him to more gentle, or use a lubricant!! Just talk to him!

[sprkal]

We have excellent communication, but I think he might be sick of me saying 'im sorry it takes so long'. lol. I am very vocal when he's pleasuring me... I'm really comfortable with him... much more than any other partner I've had (not that ive had that many).

[hardcore]

i know the feeling ok your not alone im a guy and i have the same problem do you find your self to up tigth to many things on your mind'

stress has alot to do with it. or maybe he is not performing to his best .

yhea some of us need a littel training. lol

just tell him how you like it . keep a open mind and try new things who knows you mayfind it hard not to after a while.lol

but for real you should frist try to get it ready if you will .

get it warmed up if you please.

you can't start a fire with nothing to burn.

i hope this brings you the help you deserive

[Runnergrl]

What do you do when you make your come? Tell him this and maybe it will happen quicker. I didn't come for a long time (either way) when I first became sexually active. Even told my current boyfriend I don't come a lot, so don't feel bad when we began making love. But, I come like a mad women with him. I always try to clear my mind, think about how good everything feels, how much I love him and just totally become apart of the experience and usually I come.

 

Do not be afraid to tell him what you want!

 

Good luck!