How do people start cutting?

[Penny1041]

I just started cutting myself.. I got the idea from this movie.. and at the time when I watched it, I never I would do anything like that to myself.. My bf broke up with me last week, but I still live with him. I have to look at him everyday and I feel like hes gone on with his life and I am just stuck, trying to grasp what he did and trying to move on but I cant. I still love him so much.. When I first cut myself, I was hystercially crying and mad at myself because I was upset and I couldnt calm down.. so I started cutting, and it helped me stop crying. I cut myself because its a way to control my own body and even my own emotions. I do it because no one can stop me. I also do it because I think I deserve the pain.

[self_cutter_101]

I was always watchin movies about it and always said that i wouldnt ever do it. Then 1 day I found myself very depressed, like 4 1 thing i was on my period(lol), i felt like my mom wanted me 2 b so perfect, i was failin school, an i was jus down about myself. I cried in the bathroom 4 hours, i looked at my razor, tore it apart, an it happened. It hurt the first time, but now it dosent hurt at all. I usually turn to self pain when im down, b/c it dosent hurt, it actually calms me, like my tears r washed out wit my blood. Its weird.

[doesitmatter30]

I did when I found out people did that, and then thought of it during a self destructive phase one night.

[Jeen]

When nothing matters anymore and your mind and emotion is held in a storm where nothing feels real or worth caring for, where you look for something to hold on to but there is nothing, nothing to take the pain away or to express the way you feel, just nothing but yourself, lost in a storm looking for a way home, a way to feel again, a way to cry again, a way to love again, a way to carry on in life!

[No One]

How? (Not, "why", right?)

 

Last Summer, I just picked-up a butterfly knife and made little scratches on my wrist. Then, things progressed (still, I've never been a "hardcore" cutter). No one else in my life is associated with SI, suicide, mental illness, etc.

 

Afterwards, I started to read-up on SI. Apparently, my route is not too uncommon.

[XAmyX]

i started cutting when i hurt someone close to me and he said i have made him feel like he wanted to end it all so i thought i deserved to be punished so i cut to hurt my self and i guess its just a way out for me now and can not get away from it.

[thathoopla]

Personally, I was at a sad, lonely part of my life in early high school. I couldn't really sleep and just thought about my situation. I hated myself. So I broke off a glass bracelet and cut my wrist with it. It stopped the bad thoughts for a while. That's how I started..

[luckyu]

i got into it rom reading about how it helps some people and my friends did it also. But i regret getting into it one of the worse things to get into. idk bout others but for me it like became addiction/hobby/ habit...I've been doing it for 4yrs no. not a fun trip I've had family/friends disown me for it..they don't even know i still do it...been hiding it...told them a yr ago id stop n it didn't work....to those who r thinking about doing it or w/e DONT its not good at all....people will say it helps mentally/emotionally...but in the long run you'll regret it...regret the scars and all the extra emotional pain from others over it for yrs

[XAmyX]

i agree i strongly advise people who having yet started and plan on cutting please DONT and to those you have only started please stop now because it is the worst thing you can get yourself involved in. It becomes like an addiction and you can not get away from it and if you do it can be the hardest struggle ever. it becomes a way of life and the only way of coping with your problems and emotions. 2 years on and i am struggling to stay away from cutting. You live everyday looking at your scares and fresh cuts feeling ashamed and having to hide them from the people you love.

[No One]

--> XAmyX, is correct!

 

I never wanted to start, and, cannot see why anyone would WANT to! I really can't. That it happens to a lot of people, for various reasons, that is understandable, but, as a choice? That's rough.

[zingergirl]

I started off the usual way - just a simple cut with a simple knife. I eventually resorted to a chainsaw - Luckily it ran out of gas.

[lp3fan]

i started cutting out of curiosity, then it went down hill from there. its my coping mechanism for everything. whether it be ten cuts or one hundred cuts, the release is still the same. theres just more blood to clean up after....

[Kimmeh52115]

i started one night when my mom kept calling me a pain in the a*s, i had a blade in a secret box and before i knew it i took it out (thats what she said =P) and started cutting myself, and ever since then i've been addicted.

[x_LilMess]

Mine started really slow, and seem so to be getting worse as I get older. I started sometime in 5th grade. At first it started when my first boyfriend at the time did something pretty messed up. I stood outside and started to scratch myself with keys. Slowly as I got old it turned into cuts,burns, hitting myself. I also now have a very huge problem at picking at my skin without meaning too. I think that If you've never cut, Dont get started. Its a horrible coping problem and can only get worse.

[andi8172]

i cut a cross into my arm first time then i just wanted to go further i havent cut my arms for a while i do places people wont see,or i burn my arms and should anyone care enough to ask ill tell them i burnt it on an appliance .

[Georgie_1990]

dont realise i do... sit in a daze.. n slice away... used to...

havent done it in a while... been lookin at my scars alot lately.. remembering the release though...

i started cuttin when i was 14... cuz i saw my mom do it.. xx

[SayWhen]

I started SI'ing when I was in elementary school. I would do it, and still do it (less often) out of anger and rage. I have BPD and when I do SI, I am usually in a dissociative state. People who cut because they think it is a "trend" really just frustrate the heck out of me.

[indiekitty]

I had a friend who did it and I started thinking it would be a release during times of intense depression. I thought it would keep me from killing myself. It did at first, except I felt so horrible about hiding the cuts it made things worse in the long run.

 

Thankfully, I no longer cut but will always have some scars as a reminder. It's like smoking, the best thing is never to start because it's so hard to stop.

[cutedisaster-x]

For me, I had never imagined cutting myself, I watched it on t.v and that was it.

But at one time in my life everything got really hard, so much was going on, I had no way of handling it. I tried to talk to people, I tried to write my problems out, I tried going for walks, I tried everything and nothing worked so I resorted to cutting. I just sat there crying and I took it and started, I couldn't believe I had done it, It wasn't something I ever done, it was a different feeling. Now just trying to stop is what I need to do, I still have scars on my ankle, wrist and hip because of it that I have to hide everyday.