lp3fan

i started cutting out of curiosity, then it went down hill from there. its my coping mechanism for everything. whether it be ten cuts or one hundred cuts, the release is still the same. theres just more blood to clean up after....

any thoughts on this? is it any good? comments please.

Standing there in silence, staring at the only option she has left. The choice for her is clear, but she's hoping someone would stop her. Hoping someone would barge through the door and save her from her fatile future. Tears streaming down her face, making a puddle on the table infront of her. Waiting for that moment of no return to strike, that moment when she will finally be at peace. Denying the reasons that led to this unforsaken sacrafice, pacing patiently accross the room. The walls feel like they are closing in on her, each step is one closer to her great escape from the hell she calls a life. Bringing back the memories of her past, wondering why she made the choices she did. Remembering what was so bad that has led her to this. Denied by the only one she trusted, the only one she knew loved her. Betrayed by her own sibling. Broken, beaten, abused. Thinking back to where it all began, not knowing how it got to be so bad. Believing the lies fed to her, believing the pain she endured was her own fault. Crying out for help but no one would listen, no one could hear her. Screaming in pain, curled in a ball on the floor. Knowing the only way it would stop was to cry. Showing them they won, that they were the dominant one. Finally someone decided to listen to her cries for help. Someone had finally put an end to the torture. Her sibling denied what they had done, said that she was telling lies to get attention. Time slowly trickled by after things had settled down between her and her sibling. But she was still hurt, still bleeding on the inside. Not knowing where else to turn, she tried to show her pain by bleeding on the outside. Wounded deeply, loss of soul, loss of ever being normal again. That first time her sibling laid hands on her, she knew her life would never be the same. Defending her wounds, playing them off like nothing had happened. Knowing it was only a matter of time before she was found out, before she had to own up to her actions. Slipping farther and farther away from reality with every passing day. Still believing the lies fed to her like it was only yesterday. Haunting memories, open wounds caused by the disbelief of the only one she trusted. Denied the love she longed for, she found herself locked inside a ticking time bomb. Pretending she was okay so no one would know what she had planned. Sleepless nights spent contemplating her way out of this miserable life. Sleepless nights spent bleeding until there wasnt any blood left to drain. Staining puddles left on the floor, left for the only one she knew loved her to find. Misplaced letter, caught before it was too late. Losing her battle with losing her life. Living to see another day, another painless day, her attempt had failed. Swollen with guilt, gushing with emotions, not knowing if she would ever be able to feel alive again. Acting out on her behavior, finally showing someone who she really was. A girl in pain, bleeding from the heart, pretending to live everyday with out the torment of her past. Realizing she has gone too far once again, she finds herself in an all to farmiliar situation. Forced to tell a complete stranger who she was. Sitting there in silence not knowing what to say, not knowing if she could even say a word. Left from the experience with her hatred growing stronger. Escalated feelings, escalated actions, another puddle left on the floor. Realizing there was nothing left to fight for, she was at rock bottom. Knowing what her only way out is, knowing she is too scared to do it. Tears trickling down her face, blood gushing from her soul. Time slipping away with every passing second. Gasping for air, suffocating in her own defeat. Staring at the only option she has left, saving herself from her misery. Causing the only one she trusted, the only one she knew loved her, to be left with only a memory of her. She finally put an end to the torture. Abused, beaten, broken. Life stops now.

Lost in the chaos, numb to my surroundings. Knowing there's only one way out. Believing the lies fed to my soul, deeper and deeper the emotions run. Detatched from your grasp, left with the memory. Haunted by what you've done. Forgetting how to feel, how to know I'm still alive. Blood dripping down my side. Denying you the chance to make me change my mind. Dizzy from the burden im leaving behind. Every second ticking by, slower and slower. Waiting to know I've lost you. Breathing in pain, losing sight of the chaos. Taking the only way out.

unfortunately these words are true. im so tired of fighting every day just to end up the same way...depressed and suicidal. ive been battling these feelings since i was 16. i started cutting help cope with the pain i experienced as a child. it was easier to deal with the physical wounds then emontional. i guess i still havent been able to let go what was done to me, and i dont know if i ever will. after repeated suicide attempts, in and out of the hospital, years of drug and alcohol abuse, i just dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im stuck inside myself, comfortable in my situation. i dont know if ill ever be able to get out.

I'm sorry for what I've done, I can't keep doing this. My life is meaningless, my will to live has ended. It's so hard for me to say goodbye, I love you so much. You are my everything, my reason to go on. I can't fight these feelings anymore, the voices are just too much. Tempted by my demons to show you who I am. I don't know how much longer I can fight to stay alive. Something needs to happen, something needs to change. I'm begging you to help me, make them go away. Get me out of this misery, in any possible way. I'm ready to take my life away, rob you of my soul. I need to know it's out there, a better life for me. I can't life my life without you, please dont leave my side. I'm so afraid of losing you, the pain inside is unbearable. I want to take my life away, I need to go away. Get me out of this mess, before I do it myself. Slicing away at my soul just ins't enough anymore. I need to be alone, I need to be free, free from my temptations, my demons waiting to strike. Make me face my demons, before they destroy me alive. Bleeding to make my soul happy, bleeding to make my life miserable. Staring at my scars know what they represent. Pain, anguish, tears, knowing it will never end. I need to go away, before I end my life tonight.