danielle_hertzog Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Me and my boyfriend tried having sex 3 times already ... but it never hapened because he says im too tight... We both really wanna do this but dont kno how... And we're gonna be alone tomorrow and maybe try it again but I need to know if there are any ways of opening myself up a little more... What positions would be best to try?... What else can I do to make myself not as tight I'm willing to do anything to have sex with him... my 17th birthday is August 18th and his 19th birthday is August 15th and we been together for 7 months August 16th... We wanna be able to enjoy each other for the best birthday present ever... HELP ME PLEASE!! I NEED answers by tomorrow evening Is there ANYTHING we can do to make sex easier? Link to comment
ClareMsUK Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 hey, the worst thing you can do is be tense, that contracts the muscles and penetration is impossible. that is probably what has happened. basically if a baby can fit out then a penis can fit in! take deep breaths and try to relax. don't focus too much on what is happening, enjoy it. make sure there is plenty of fore play so you are well lubricated. also try imagining that as he is entering you are opening up for him like visualisation technique. i do it when stressed at work and need to insert a tampon quickly on a toilet break haha (sorry! good luck i hope it goes well. Link to comment
danielle_hertzog Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 haha thanks... really, i do appreciate all the advice i can get... o and its ok about the tampon thing hehe I Hope everything goes well too... THANK YOU very much!! Link to comment
Runnergrl Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 YIKES! The first time always hurts. I swear it didn't get good for me until a year later! You must relax...think about how much you love me, how good he feels...think of all five senses..how he looks, smells, taste, feels on top of you and maybe you will relax. Use a condom and lube! Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't happen the way you want it to. Don't rush it. It will be great. Be safe! Link to comment
Shizzle Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 use lube!!! lube is great! when you tried in the past was it like planned? or did u just do it a random times?? dont plan to have sex, just do it, i noticed when i planned sex in the past it ALWAYS went wrong Link to comment
twinkle Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 I had exactly the same problem my first couple of times. You just need to relax more. I know it's not easy!! Try not to worry so much. Ask him to take it slow, use lots of lube, and if it still feels tight for him, try this. Contract your pelvic floor muscles down there, and this should make it tighter than it already is, and as you relax, tell him to slowly try and enter you -this way, you KNOW you are relaxing those muscles and it's easier for him to start getting in, if you know what i mean!! If you're worried about other things, pregnancy etc etc, then this will also affect it, so make sure you've covered all areas - that you're on the pill, condom. Enjoy a lot of foreplay so that you're completely aroused, and take it slow. Yes, it will hurt, but it will get better, and better....and better!!! Good luck. Link to comment
Serendipity1607307077 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Dude.... RELAX..... I was all tight too... Perhaps try having sex with you on top, so you can control how far he goes in... when you move down his shaft, breathe out and relax your body... Link to comment
sprkal Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 First of all, are you ready for sex??? Mentally, you mightnt be, if you keep tensing up! Make sure you are relaxed and very sure that you are ready for this big step in your life. Next time you try, put LOTS of lubricant on him and inside you. Ask him to insert a couple of fingers as well. As he goes to enter you, just tell yourself to relax and not worry about anything. Look into his eyes (it always helps me). And when it starts to hurt, ask him to stop, but not pull out. Lay for a while with him partly in you, until you feel ready to go a bit further. Take it slow and just keep trying to relax and be calm. By the way, it is going to hurt, dont kid yourself that it wont, but the pain passes, and your boyfriend will look after you just make sure you communicate with him, and make sure he is watching you for any sign of pain or discomfort. Link to comment
writergurl Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 As others have mentioned before, make sure you are truly prepared mentally and try to relax. But many women have problems with this, even non-virgins. My guess is that you need to be aroused more. Spend more time on foreplay. Your bf needs to spend more time getting you heated up, some women take longer than others physically, even if they are mentally ready. When you get ready, your body will respond on its own by loosening and by lubricating itself. Link to comment
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