Saying hello to goodbye.....

[Delusional Kisses]

I've been in a long distance, casual relationship with someone for a year now. He dates other girls. I'm the only girl that knows about the other girls (long story) and he is aware of my knowledge. I've been back and forth about accepting this as my feelings for him are strong. Ok, I'm in love. That is a very difficult thing for me to admit even to myself. I have not told him that. I have my own issues with relationships, trust and commitment so I can't really fault him for his own issues. There are many days that I am fully accepting of his playboy behaivor and I know exactly what I'm into and there are days (like today) when I'm crushed that I am only another choice he has. I deserve to be more than another choice. I find myself being committed to him. I'm in a full relationship and he is not. I've tried to explain my feelings to him, but the words just never come out right and I try to say I'm done, I'm gone and he ends up putting a temporary bandaid over my hurt and it all starts over again. Last week was our year "anniversary" and in the morning, I was called to the front of the office for a package...and there sitting on the front desk was 100 roses...the butterflies started, my eyes watered up and my heart almost beat out of my chest until I read the card and saw they were from a friend of mine...a "just because you are amazing" gift and while I was estatic at the gesture, I couldn't hide my surpreme disappointment that they were not from him. I did something horrible and texted him and said I got roses. He said "nice!!!" and I said "are they from you? They are not signed". An hour passed before he replied and said "I wish I could say yes". Certainly, I'll be going to hell for that, but I wanted him to somehow feel bad for my disappointment. So as the day progressed, I talked myself into ending our friendship and told him so. The conversation ended with one of those temporary bandaid's and him saying he would work on making sure I knew how important I was to him. Today, that bandaid is gone again and I only feel stupid and foolish for being in love with him. He says he loves me, but if that were true, things would be different than they are, wouldn't they? I don't know what advise I'm asking for here...I know what I need to do...I just need some extra support.

[lastcall23]

By letting him put that temporary "bandaid" on your problems, he knows he can keep you on his string and do what hes doing still. If you want more, than you either have to ask for it or walk away. If he shuts you down or trys to pull any sweet talking stuff, just shut it down right there. You have to stay strong for yourself. You aren't being fair to yourself by being 1 of however many girls he has. Of course its fine that you were understanding of the casual relationship at first and were open and fine with it but now you have obviously developed strong feelings for this guy and he doesn't seem to have noticed or reciprocated. No one deserves to be in a "relationship" like that and I think you should respect yourself enough to ask/want more than that. Stay strong and go with your gut feeling on it, don't let your emotions get in the way too much because sometimes they can be blinding or misleading.

[Jd1983]

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now.

 

I'm sure you already know what you have to do. If you truly want to be loved, then you need to find someone else. Clearly he isn't going to change his ways. Why are you allowing him to walk all over you? Simply because he puts a little band-aid to ensure that he remotely cares about you?

 

Aside from worrying about STD's, he is pretty much having his cake and eating it too. How can you expect him to change, when you are allowing him to behave this way?

 

He knows he can do as he please, because of the way you treat him. Well it's about time that changed. You deserve to be happy, someone who is faithful and wants to be with you and only you. Unless you end things with him, you will never get that.

 

I know it hurts, but it's the truth and you need to realize that. Don't you want to be happy? Don't you feel that you deserve that someone to feel the same way you feel about them?

 

Sweetheart, he doesn't love you. It's sad to say it, but if he truly did love you, he wouldn't be seeing you along with someone else. Let's face it, he loves you and everyone else.

 

You're stronger than this. It's about time you called the shots!