I know this has been said before but ...

[notsurewhattodo]

" You never got over her, not even a little bit"

 

Those were the words out of my mother's mouth as we sat in her car today before work, and as I ate lunch at the waterfalls in a park in Lisbon before work I realized to myself

 

SHE WAS RIGHT!

 

Before I go further it may pay to read here for background,

 

link removed

 

I am no longer posting it in new topics because it is VERY LONG; if you do care enough to offer me advice, please READ IT ENTIRELY

 

Faced with the fact of going back there isn't easy, neither is believing I will never see my own daughter again, but the truth is I am going back, and after the phone call I had with Kim last night, I am MORE DETERMINED THEN EVER, she basically said I committed THE ULTIMATE SIN, and abandoned sierra, and I asked her what I had to do to prove to her that wasn't true, she said "come back" and that I wasn't ever going to do that.

 

I'm not telling her of my return until I am back there again, and she is very weird shifted to me, one day she calls and wants to talk, and is very affectionate, other days I don't hear from her for a week, but one of her CLOSEST FRIENDS, catches her crying at night (WHEN SHE Doesn't have a man over that night that is) and asked her what is wrong, did you know even though she never kept a picture of me in her house, that the one sitting by her bedside is of me and her, I was shocked.

 

She tells her friend Allison that after everything she realizes she made a mistake, she never says I want him back; she just cries and says, " I miss him so much aly, and sierra does to"

 

PLEASE UNDERSTAND IM NOT TRYING TO "SEE THIS MY WAY" I AM ONLY GIVING YOU THE INFORMATION I NEED TO FOR ADVICE.

 

Sometimes aly will run into Kims room, (Allison lives with Kim) because Kim will wake up screaming, and she has grabbed her in the dark and said hold me jay, im so scared) more then once.

 

And lastly, Kim will sometimes stand at a stop light staring and when aly tells her to "go!" Kim just shakes it off and does, when asked what is up, she looks at her with a tear in her eye and says I was thinking of a time when Jason was here, we would go to (someplace they were by, or some restaurant) and have so much fun, then she will say " god help me I don't know what happened"

 

So that is the update, if you read the link, you know what is going to happen (my choices) if not when you reply I will know, because this isn't EVEN THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, and the background info will help you.

 

 

Thank you.

 

Jason

[Dezeard]

Your situation is a complex nested loop. I wish that I could help you, but this seems to be something therapy would have a hard time helping with.

 

You don't need her, your life isn't dependant on her in any way, no matter how much you believe it is. All you need in life is yourself. Others are just around to make life more comfortable, and help you along the way.

 

Don't let her use you, or make you feel small. You are your own person, and you must walk this lonely road alone.

 

I am sorry.

[notsurewhattodo]

well, hello all

 

i just got off the phone with my ex kim, and some of this is hard to write but i will anyway, it appears she is involved with someone right now, his name is Nate, and it turns out he is the best friend of ben, my ex best friend who kim slept with, its very confusing, i guess nate is very afraid that once ben gets out of jail (soon) that kim will go back to him, and kim says thats NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, but i dont know

 

i still miss kim very much, and i know walking back into that town, is like walking into a ring of fire, and i am DEATHLY afraid, but it has to be done, and soon, my daughter turns three in october, and i AM GOING TO BE AT HER BIRTHDAY, if at all humanly possible.

 

i guess i love her to this day, but she doesnt have any love for me, altohugh those comments about her wide awake and at stop lights are confusing.

 

i guess the last thing to point out that needs interpertation is the fact that lately for the past two weeks kim has started calling me at home, usaully around 6 am her time 7 mine, and she will talk about everything and nothing, but i am usaully half asleep, and i will just listen to her voice, i get to talk to sierra before daycare, then kim drops her off, and talks to me all the way to her work, and i have asked her why she calls me all the time, she just says real quietly " i love talking to you"

 

i dont knoww what to make of it, and continuing advice is appreciated, i had some DYNAMITE advice from "wigglE" but she has since vanished, so any one with something to say, espicially if you have ever been in a simialar situation (is there ever two alike) for now i still love kim, but im not in love with her, i just dont know, i hope i could be strong enough b ut i JUST DONT HONESTLY KNOW.

 

jay

[Mun]

I have a little suggestion. Stop and try to take life a little slower. I read your original post awhile back and felt as if I'd been caught in a tornado. I couldn't even post any advice . I was overwhelmed so I can only imagine how you must have felt.

 

Maybe things will be easier and less complicated if you stop creating more drama. Go slow in your future relationships ...and with Kim and your daughter too. So much has happened with all of you -- you are all still pretty young.

 

Focus on getting your life in order as much as possible. This might give you a clearer perception and new ideas about how to handle the situations that come up.