agree or disagree...

[phasegirl]

True friends help each other, not tear each other down.

 

So for example, if you see that your friend has become "bitter", then why not help them instead of criticizing them - or clapping and being glad that they're no longer part of your network? Sometimes we perceive people to be bitter or to have some other negative personality trait because of something that's going on "behind the scenes" , not necessarily because of *you*

 

A true friend would stand by that person - and allow them to be imperfect - give them time and distance until they heal...

 

If you are no longer someone's friend because you see that they've gotten bitter or whatever, then you were never really they're friend.

 

Thoughts??

[geekgirl4]

Well, on the flip side, would A want to be friends with bitter B when bitter B bites A's head off for no reason?

 

Friends should help each other, yes indeed. But if you treat your friends like crap or throw fits because of your personal problems, then clearly some maturing needs to be done. There's a difference between letting your friend know things have been tough and they'd appreciate support or patience and then there's sulking silently and not letting your friends know what's going on, hence not giving them opportunity to help you.

[misssmithviii]

If being bitter means lashing out, then yeah I'd keep my distance from that friend. A part of my criteria for friends is being mature and at very least mentally proactive.

 

I'm a very understanding person, but if a friend doesn't want to or cannot muster up the mental strength to divulge what's bothering said friend and instead stays openly rotten, negative etc - I would def call that friend out.

 

Your post seems a bit vague though, saying someone is bitter can mean a lot of things and it all depends on how that bitterness is handled. I'm bitter about my ex-bf being a total ______ and abusing me, but I didn't push away my friends - my negativity stopped at feeling bad. My bf's bitter about his father being emotionally cruel to his mother, but he doesn't shove it down so people wonder why he's acting so negative - he deals with it.

 

There's only so much a person knows about someone else (friend) without said person (friend) saying something.

 

Would you be willing to be a bit more specific?

[phasegirl]

Yes of course

 

Long story short, my friend posted a comment on her facebook about how she thinks *someone* (meaning me) is bitter and she's glad I no longer have invitations to her life. (And yes, she was talking about me, there is no doubt about it - how I know, is not important plus I don't want to get into the boring details)

 

I don't know why she says that I'm bitter - I haven't spoken to this person in ages, but she basically posted that on her facebook as if she was continuing a private conversation that she had with her friends.

 

We had been close like sisters, and basically we had a disagreement about something that I saw she did and confronted her about (something she said that involved a third person) - But after she denied it, I apologized, but she decided we don't need to speak again. It was very hurtful to say the least. I remember saying, "All over that?" And, "I can't straighten anything out with this person??" - which led me to believe she had been thinking about just walking away to begin with

[geekgirl4]

Think of it this way, do you really want to repair a friendship with someone as immature as this? She's being passive aggressive and those kind of people are generally not fun to be with. Can I ask what was the disagreement over?