Meeting your boyfriend's kids and they are your age

[alive]

I'm about to meet my boyfriend's kids and one of them is my age. If anyone have been thru this situation, please give me some insight.

I want them to see me as their father companion and not as some young girl with issues. We have a beautifull relationship, but with a huge age diference.

[Tinkerbell]

Hey there alive, and welcome to eNotalone!

That's a tricky situation you've got on your hands. Put yourself in their position, if your dad came home with a girl your age one day, would you welcome her with open arms? Possibly, but not likely. You've got to earn their acceptance, and there's no telling how long this will take. You've acknowledged and accepted that there is a large age gap, and once his children can do this perhaps then you can build friendships with them. In the meantime, just be a mature woman and try to deal with any hostility they may throw at you. Eventually they'll come around.

[alive]

Thank you Tinker for your reply. Very wise and helpful words.

 

There is exctaly why I've posted this here, because I keep on putting myself on their shoes and it would be hard for me not to be prejudice or even hungry about this too.

 

Hopefully I will be strong enough to deal with this and I'll be looking for support here and at any other place I can get. I'm sure we will need.

 

best wishes.

[skeeter]

Alive I'd just like to say My sister was older then my Dad's girlfriend and I was only 1 yr behind her. At the time I was 26 and his gf was 27 and my sister was 30.

 

It was awkward but, as adults and not teenagers we realize much quicker that it is my Dad's life and happiness so we as the children need to accept. If we could not then we are in essense trying to control Dad's life.

 

If Dad is happy then he can make everyone else happy. You really can't make other's happy if you aren't happy yourself.

 

Just be their friend and that is all. Never expect to be anything else. if they ask for your advice or want to look up to you in the future then you will know what to do. If they make you feel uncomfortable you need to be strong for yourself as well as their father. Don't be intimidated by it. If your bf loves his children he will know how to deal with them.

 

Good Luck to you!

[i_hate_the_world47]

well,all i can suggest is that when you meet them,treat them as friends not children.That way they may treat you as a mother figure.Good luck.

 

~Meagan~

[alive]

Thank all you guys for the replies. I really enjoy reading your reply Skeeter, because you've lived this before.

 

We are trying to get together this week to introduce each other and I feel that I'll be more able to deal with whatever comes my way.

 

Please feel free to post more replies with experience or thoughts on this subject.

 

Great week for all.