how to treat a girl...

[slammin16]

a question for the ladies.

 

I see a lot of postings about how there bf or ex bf treated there girlfriend/ ex girlfriend like crap.

 

What do you mean by this?

[mad rabbits]

Well, I can only speak from my experience... "treating like crap" would mean things such as: ignoring, breaking promises, shifting blame, being manipulative, lying, being unreliable, cheating...

[LovedHim321]

Let me add to that....the list is pretty good... When your hands are cold and you hold them out for your boyfriend to hold, he pulls his hands away instead of taking your hands to warm, and says he hates holding hands, and for me to put them in my pockets. Or maybe when he says that I'm going through a "stage" and I'm boring...because I no longer want to go to bars or go drinking, but instead want to focus on health and healthy living, and not have life's pleasure surround feeling out of control and acting stupid. Or how about when you do something, and he says that his ex-wife never did anything like that, and makes sure you know how much better she was than you... Or maybe when he thinks he's joking when he calls you fat, stupid, and ugly. Oh what a funny joke. Those things are what are considered being treated like crap. Tomorrow makes 2 weeks NC for me in my most successful breakup ever. Not timewise, no... but feelings wise. I'm so on a different road now. But back to response, treating like crap means doing anything outside the realm of making your girl feel like she's the most beautiful, needed, soft, sweet, loved woman in the world. The best smelling, the softest hair, the most perfect body (because no one's like her), and the only girl you could ever love and need in your life.

 

Nope. He doesn't exist....

[HeartGoesOn]

By treating us exactly the same way you'd like to be treated.

[blackhawks1287]

By treating us exactly the same way you'd like to be treated.

 

Apparently that didn't work lol (claimed I was the best and she didn't know what she did to deserve me), but everyone has different needs and wants. In my case in the later months she wasn't getting what she wanted and found someone that could give it to her.

 

In my experience people have ever changing needs, fads, that they need to change in order to keep up with their own inner demands.

[SVSV]

Criticism -- especially when it was about trivial matters, stuff known about since day one, screaming at me for no apparent reason, etc.

[Chadman82]

Hey badhabits! My ex gf, did everone of those things to me, She tricked me into thinking she cared and wanted to work on her and i, then she went snooping around, cheated on me and then left me, then she had the adasity to tell me i treated her like crap, and told me that we have not even been dating or seeing eachother since jan 2nd!

[mad rabbits]

Hey badhabits! My ex gf, did everone of those things to me, She tricked me into thinking she cared and wanted to work on her and i, then she went snooping around, cheated on me and then left me, then she had the adasity to tell me i treated her like crap, and told me that we have not even been dating or seeing eachother since jan 2nd!

 

Well, I think the things I listed aren't unique or unusual traits if you get my drift, they tend to go together and collectively form what is known as "bad character" lol

I think when you are dating or contemplating getting into a relationship with someone, honesty is really at a premium. If you don't have that you don't have anything. Stand back and consider the person objectively - are they honest and genuine? If not, you will get all the rest - the manipulating, shifting blame, being unreliable etc these all go together and at the root of all these traits is a deceitful character.

 

If you want to go deeper yet, what is at the root is selfishness - but people who are selfish need to hide it through deceit, so where there is smoke there is fire my friend

 

Sorry that happened to you!