I Want to Return to The Land of the Living - Where do I Start

[Silverbirch]

This is how I feel today. I've spent the last couple of weeks crying like I never thought I could. I am the dumpee. Dumper had given me the spiel about me being his best friend and lover and him wanting a break to think things out, but I knew then, and now that he wanted out, and his actions have proven me right.

 

I spoke with my mum briefly last night, and when that conversation ended, I knew I didn't want to go on like this.

 

I've hardly missed any time off work, and tried to go about all my every day things, but I feel like someone who has had a long debilitating illness, starting to get better and wanting the day to come soon when I can run and dance and laugh and sing again. I know I need to do things to help make this happen, and wonder where to start. I feel as though I've forgotten how to have fun and laugh, but I want to.

 

Has anyone been here and moved beyond who can offer some advice. Thanks.

[stevef20]

Hi there,

 

ive been in that terrible place and in fairness revisit occasionally but believe that I am now coming out the other side.

I think you have to feel like you do initially so you can start to heal and I must say that you are incredibly strong for carrying on as normal, I was signed off by Dr for 6 weeks. Before you can start to feel better you have to have the acceptance cry, I don't know how to explain it but one day I had a cry that felt so deep I could almost feel my heart letting go, I hope that makes some sense. My next step was to get my life going again, had 3 lists.1, things I want to change in my life.2, things I want to restart doing and 3, new things I want to do, that was 4 weeks ago, since then I've lost weight and changed job (1) taken up golf again and going to watch football matches (2) and booked courses to learn how to rock climb, paraglide and keyboard (3).

Why???? Because I need to live for me again, I need to love being in my own skin, to fill the void of emptiness she left in me and to have something to look toward to.

This is my story and its worked for me, I could have just said accept it, its normal, time heals etc and that would all be ok, I've decided though to add some meat to the bones.

 

If this helps at all ill be happy.

 

Good luck

Steve

[Silverbirch]

Hey thanks Steve. I'm going to try and make a list as you have. Great idea. I have decided that I will take a brief trip overseas at the end of the year. Not sure where yet - maybe Kathmandu, who knows. I don't have to fit in with anyone, can just go where I want to. Seems weird, but okay.

 

I did end up taking today off work, and saw doc. Going home to stay with my mum for a week in a weeks time and I'm so looking forward to that.

 

I'm not sure yet what other things I want to do. I've thought I wouldn't mind to go to some type of Latin dance workout class, but there are other things too. h my, I really got out of touch with myself. Maybe join some type of art group. I've always consider that I have absolutely no talent with art, but I've heard of mandala art classes or maybe a photography class - yes, that sounds up my alley.

 

Thanks for helping me feel better and thank you also to the person who mailed me.

[stevef20]

Your are very welcome Silver, i hope it has helped and im always here for you, pm me any time

 

Steve