girlfriend of three years "needs space"

[Christos]

hi.

my girlfriend and i have been together for over three years. it has been at utterly perfect relationship, we were deeply in love and adored spending as much time as we could together. a week and a half ago, she told me that she "needed space" to re-evalutate our relationship as she wondered whether we were still together out of habit. she "thinks" she still loves me, and we both hope that we can work this out.

 

i haven't contacted her, but every 2-3 days so far i've received a text message or email from her. we've met up twice, but our meeting always end up with one, or both, of us crying out of pain. she is a very genuine girl, and i know for certain that there is no other man involved.

 

is there hope for us? and do i literally just give her the space she asks for? it is all very painful, minutes tick by like hours.

 

thanks in advance.

[rich46]

Hi Christos,

 

When I saw this thread I thought I had posted it! About a month ago my girlfriend of 3 and a half years told me she needed some "time and space" but wanted to remain "best friends" with me. However, I couldn't just switch like that so I told her it's best if we don't have any contact for a while - she gets the space she originally asked for, and I am not strung along in the meantime and I have chance to heal.

 

You haven't really provided many details about your relationship, so I'm not sure whether No Contact is the way to go for you. Each relationship is different so only you can decide that. But if she has asked for space, you MUST give it her. Believe me I know how hard it is after 3 years together. But if you want to keep her ion the long run, you must do it. Don't beg or plead as it will put more pressure on her and will most likely push her away further.

 

How old were you when you met? How old is she? I only ask because I met my ex when she was just 18. Now she is 22 and I get the feeling she doesn't want to reach the age of 30 or 40 and wonder what else was out there. We were/are first loves so as hard as it is, I am giving her this space now in the hope that one day down the line she will see the grass isn't greener on the other side, and we can maybe start again.

 

Hope this helps a little, I know how hard and confusing it is to hear your girlfriend tell you she needs space.

 

Good luck,

 

Rich