skeletons in the closet during marriage

[kamurj]

I have a problem. My husband and I separated for a period of 1month. During this time, he lived up his single life and had "friendships" with much younger and cuter girls. Since this, he has left so many unanswered questions that really bother me. Should I ignore these as he has asked me to do? He has said he wants to start over and pretend like we just met with no questions about what we did when we were apart. I have asked him if he was faithful and he replied that he had. I am not sure that I believe it because of things he is doing now. What do I do?

 

[ This Message was edited by: kamurj on 2002-01-04 16 ]

[kamurj]

You say you're not sure you believe him because of 'what he's doing now'. What exactly is he doing now that makes you feel this way?

[sisterlynch]

Have a check up to make sure you havn't contracted a sexually transmitted disease. A lot of married men cheat and can continue on with a satisfying marriage. He will probably tell you the truth when he is ready. Don't let him leave in the middle of the night. Don't let him be secretive about where he is going. If he is going to stay in this relationship with you he has to be willing to be with only one person. He owes you that much! There is a book called "Never be Lied to Again" Let him see that you are reading it.

[BabyGirl16]

You said that he said he wasn't cheating, but for whatever reasons you don't believe him. Now ask yourself this, if he was to give you what your yearning to hear then what would you do? Cause it's obvious that you have made up in your mind that you don't believe. So in return you are going to do what you do regardless. so what is it that you want? Do you want to be with this man? And if he is cheating are you willing to work things out? If your answer is Yes, then you already know what to do. Work out your marriage and your differences regardless of the past. Because like I said before you already have your mind made up reither you know it or not. But what I do know is that a lack of trust can cause tension and stress within a relationship. If your not happy move on, if you are submit yourself to your husband and be the wife that he needs you to be.

[blues82]

Don't go back. This guy is taking you for a ride. Let me get this straight, he left you and started dating younger girls. And why do you want him back???? You owe it to yourself to find someone who won't pull this crap on you. Find a man who you trust and make sure he loves you. This guy sounds like he's just out for everything he can get. Do you think this will change if you get married? Think again! Don't do this to yourself. This guy is garbage.

[Turboz]

Hi

 

Well I can honestly say that this does look suspicious. If he has cheated on you then he doesn't want you to know because it will hurt you but then You also have a right to know don't you!.

 

In my honest opinion a man who truly loves his wife/partner will never cheat on her. He will never want to be apart from her, will never argue with her but will simply provide unconditional love for his partner. A man that truly loves his partner would never go out re-living his youth during a 'break' as he would be too busy thinking about his partner and missing her.

 

You should proceed with caution here. If your partner has cheated and you find out it could rip you apart. Everything you have shared in your marriage could be brought into question.

 

On the other hand if he has cheated and you don't know about it what is to stop him doing it again? - You may know nothing about it and your marriage will still seem to be strong but what is really going on?

 

Please proceed very carefully. Communication is the key. If your man really truly loves you then he will let nothing come between you both - not even his manly desire to spread his genes.

 

Best wishes,

 

-Turboz