My trust issues are going to ruin my relationship

[Ministottie]

hi. Basically, I don't trust my boyfriend, but not because he does anything to make me doubt him. I just think that I'm not perfect and if someone perfect did come along he would go. I have serious problems with myself, and I think I am a horrible person but that is impacting on how I see my relationship.

 

Last night we argued and he told me he is sick of me "hating" him every time he wants a night to himself. It hit home and I really don't know what to do about how I feel. I hate to admit that I don't trust him, but I don't think I could trust anyone.

 

I don't know what I want from this forum, but I guess I would like an opinion, or even some advice.

 

Thank you

[Madamdiva007]

Have you ever thought about looking into some counseling to get to the root of where these trust issues and insecurities come from? Could help. I'm very much like yourself and have found that seeing a therapist is helping me and my relationship immensely.

[Ministottie]

I wouldn't even know where to get that sort of help, but I would love for something just to help me out because its becoming pretty bad.

[Jd1983]

You need to work on your self esteem issues.

 

Perfection? There's no such thing. Realize that your bf is with you for a reason. Obviously he sees something about you, that you don't see in yourself.

 

You need to realize that you don't own him. He is entitled to have a life on his own. If you try to constantly monitor everything that he does, then you are only going to push him away from you.

 

Learn to have a little faith and learn to trust him. If he does happen to do anything, then he's not worth it to begin with.

[Koglin]

You need to address these internal issues quick before you loose the man you're with. In simple terms, you need to learn to understand that there will always be someone better looking than you, or smarter, or funnier, or richer, or whatever it may be but this is no indication that this person is better for your boyfriend. Remember that your boyfriend chose you for what you have to offer. He is with you even when you're rough around the edges and not trusting so imagine how much he'd appreciate you if you only learned to trust him and give him his space.