Please help, I am in limbo and need someone to give insght.

[timP]

 

 

I know it is long, but I really need some insight, every one I know sits on the fence. Please take the time to read this. Every day just gets harder. I am in dire striaghts and I'm left in limbo. I need some one to try and figure out her head.

 

Here goes:

 

it started 12months ago. Trouble started slow and gradually worked it was to a peak 1 1/2 months ago. I was stressed and started to withdraw romantically, when things were great we would make love nearly daily. then I started to stress and it withered to every couple of days then weeks, etc you get the picture. She tried to tell me in so many ways she was feeling unloved and unappreciated. I think that short of a flashing neon sign she tried the lot. I have changed now but dealing with things was never my forte. I stuck my head in the sand and pretended nothing was wrong. Mistake.

 

Fighting got worse and worse. down to almost every second day. I was sick of the fighting and wanted out. I blamed her for it all. I saw another girl for lunch, my intentons were not good but nothing happened.

 

I had an opportunity to go away camping for two weeks and due to her work restraints my gf could not come. During that time I realised what I felt, I saw the lot, what I had done and why I had done it. I realised my mistake. I realised I was completely and uterly in love with her.

 

While I was away my GF found out about my lunch date and decided that I had moved on. Prior to this she was very upset and depressed as she loved me so. however now she thought I was moving on and decided she had to as well.

 

The night before I got home she went out extremley drunk and was taken advantage of. When I got home i knew, i knew that something was wrong, and she told me straight away. I was devasted, I told her how I felt that I was completely in love with her and that I was sorry and I wanted to work on it. I did not want ot loose her.

 

She told me she was confused.

 

I got hot and cold, very hot and very cold. I knew not where I stood. She said that she still loved me, she said we were best friends, sole mates and that no one knew her like me. No one knows what she wants like me. I can still see the love there, I know it is still there, she just doesn't want to look.

 

My GF says that she is still very angry with me for not seeing it earlier and for changing to late. I have changed alot of things about me, as I hated what I did. She says she wants to be friends and that maybe we could start again later if it happens. I can't handle that, I can't know she goes out with out me and that 95% of guys just want one thing, and take advantage of her again. She is the love of my life and I can't imagine another day with out her.

 

The last couple of weeks we have been out a few times for dinner etc and we have made special contact, The last time we were both very flirty. However she got angry and blamed me for flirting to much ( it was all harmless, I never actually physically touched her, it was more signals)with her that she didn't want to go back to our old rut. I told her I agreed and we would build someting new. We argued for a while and things ended up that she only wanted to see me for a coffee here and there and maybe a movie. I at this point felt like a little puppy on a leash being dragged where ever she wanted. That was going to stop.

 

I wrote her a letter explaining all that I did and why, I told her I loved her and that I was going to let her go. She was free to do as she pleased. I told her I couldn't see her for a month, and that she was not to contact me at all unless it was an emergency or at her wits end. Prior to this I tried the same tactic, but she kept calling. You see she doesn't have very good friends for this sort of thing and I really am her best friend.

 

Where do I go now, I still have three weeks to go but the last 8 days have felt like an eternity! Any hints, ideas? what is going on in her head? Does she still love me or is she just tring to let me down gently, so we can still be friends? She is a Scorpio if that helps.

 

Thanks and I hope you didn't fall asleep.

 

Tim.

[wickedbusa]

I think you both need to take a step back and look at the relationship. What is the cause of these fights? Perhaps a communication barrier? This sounds like my marriage. Everything was fine and dandy until the whole issue of communication reared its ugly head. I was not telling her how I felt, she was not telling me what she felt, and if someone did speak, either one of us would not listen. You are together but you had a lunch date? There is something wrong there. You say your intentions were bad and that is not a good sign. I can understand going to lunch with say coworkers, but to go on a lunch date when you haven't broken up officially is wrong. If you want out, then get out. Both of you hanging in there is not healthy for either one of you. If you really want to make it work, sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk with her. No arguments, just tell each other how each of you really feel inside. I think then you will be able to tell where you want to go with this relationship.