I don't know how to fix what I've done

[Johanna81]

My problem is I've been dating this guy for the past 8 months and I love him very much but we tend to fight a lot, usually over stupid things we both have pretty bad tempers. Over the weekend we got in a fight about how I shouldn't have said something to a friend about another friend and I said it wasn't really his business and then it sort of escalated the next day cause I had been drinking with friends and he and I ended up getting in a fight on AIM and then I stupidly called him and left a message (he wouldn't pick up the phone) and I dumped him because I was so mad so then I realized how wrong I was and he had blocked me on AIM and so I kept calling him drunk people are stupid I know! and he's like if you call me again I'll call the police he was really pissed off! anyways it's been two days and I emailed to apologize, and called him and left a message no response he's still has me blocked on AIM and I dont know what to do. I know he loves me very much and I've hurt him immensly and I want to make things right but I dont know how cause he wont respond to me at all

I dont' even know how to get a response from him... I screwed up really bad and I need some advice

[Princess777]

Unfortunately he's probably going to make you beg for forgiveness. Alcohol makes people do things they normally wouldn't, and it is bad news sometimes. Most of the time, in my opinion.

 

I would call him and leave a heartfelt message on his machine saying that you acted very undesirable and that you are really sorry you disrespected him. Tell him that the whole thing escalated into something big from nothing, and that you are very, very sorry and that if you could go back in time you would not have done this, that, etc...... Tell him that you understand his anger and you know that you probably don't deserve a call back but if he could please accept your apology, you'll make it up to him. Tell him that you're looking forward to hearing from him. Then hang up and think of how you can make it up to him when you finally see him again. Is going over to his house out of the question?

[Johanna81]

I did that yesterday I left a message on his machine... I haven't heard back... I don't know I think it may be hopeless. I think he really hates me or something right now.

[SteveNaive]

Hmm...it's really hard to say what you can do now. Really and truly I think you just can wait for him to move now. You apologized for your behaviour and you can't do any more than that, right?! If he wants to accept your apolpgy it is his turn to make a move now.

 

However, I think by now he owes you an apology as well, because just breaking off contact without a "decent" reason and not even reacting to an apology is kind of dire...if he really loved you that much he would at least still talk to you...so it may well be that there is something more behind this.

 

You said that you two fight a lot over things that are not worth fighting about. I wonder, how good can a relationship be if you end up fighting about the smallest of things?! I do not want to doubt that you two love each other a lot, however, if you want to make this work you should stop the fighting and start the talking...I know that it can be hard, especially when both of you have a bad temper...i know what it is like...I used to be like that myself...

 

Apart from that...I just want to say one more thing. Should he decide that he is indeed pissed off and does not want to be with you anymore...well, how shall I say...do not think it is your fault or something. Yes, you may have gone a bit too far with breaking it off...then again...he really should talk to you...he really should...

[Johanna81]

I emailed again yesterday and apologized again I also said that I would stop bugging him unless he wanted to talk to me... so it's just a waiting game I really don't know if we're over or not I just wish he'd talk to me I dont like not knowing where I stand

[Princess777]

I think you've done well. Sometimes just admitting one is wrong is the greatest thing you can do, and the most noble. It's easy to deny and coward out... but you're not. You are stepping up to the plate and acknowledging that you messed up. He needs to give you some credit for that.

 

Hang in there!!! He'll come around soon, I'm sure.

[Johanna81]

I guess now I'm a little angry I feel like I deserve a reply, Yes I was wrong and Yes I shouldn't have said those things, but I've tried to make amends and I don't even get a response. It's frustrating and it hurts my feelings that he wont even talk to me... We had a pretty decent relationship very open and loving it's hard to have him ignore me... I think it's kind of mean I guess he wont respond to me.