DigitalSpy Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hi, Ok its a bit of a random thread. But I have always hated being single, don't get me wrong there are some perks to it and on occasions I can enjoy single life. But in general I get no enjoyment out of being single.... regardless of what I am doing...its just missing something. I have a lot of friends rave about their single life, hooking up with new girls and having a ball.... but this sort of thing really doesn't work it for me When I'm in a relationship I feel I have a reason, someone to keep happy...I will be honest I am a very unselfish person and rarely put myself first (which has been my downfall at times). When I am single I tend to notice that I spoil my family and friends A LOT without spoiling myself. I just get so much more pleasure out of making others happy... Note: This isn't a post saying how unhappy I am lol, I am very happy. I just wondered if there are a lot of other people like this Link to comment
Jack3d Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 i used to think that too, but then i got a great gf, got into a relationship, and now going crazy because she makes me nuts. women are nothing but trouble. i love her with all of my heart, but at the same i miss being single...and my sanity. lol Link to comment
TidalWave Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Yea I used to be like that,I would cross mountains for woman's kiss and spoil her all I could. When I was alone I felt terrible. And then one drama queen broke my heart and I hated the world. After a while I realized that all that time I was forgetting someone, me. And so I started to recognize myself more and more every day,.. Well now, you ask me to get into a relationship? I reply, no way! And I stopped spoiling others too, since the day I found my true love myself. I love myself so much, haha Link to comment
-Sanguine- Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 I think I am a lot like you. I like having someone to spoil and do nice things for. It makes me happy. But like you, I rarely put myself first and it has been a major downfall for me because I let myself get taken advantage of. I am happy too, but I know I can be more happy in a relationship. Link to comment
sidehop Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 When I'm in a relationship I feel I have a reason, someone to keep happy...I will be honest I am a very unselfish person and rarely put myself first (which has been my downfall at times). When I am single I tend to notice that I spoil my family and friends A LOT without spoiling myself. I just get so much more pleasure out of making others happy... Perhaps you may have some co-dependency? I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing either, it may be that you're given the opportunity right now to do some soul searching while you're single. Because some day you'll look back, married with children & wonder what the heck you were doing being single with all the free time in your hand lol. Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 I think you should tread carefully with that kind of mindset. I agree with sidehop that it seems to be co-dependency. It's kind of you to want to treat the people you care about well, but don't forget to love yourself too. It's tough on the people around you when it seems like treating them well is a way to make you feel better. It's never healthy to put people on a pedestal like that. Nobody wants to seem like they have the reins of your happiness. They certainly want to add to it but not be largely in charge of it. Also, single life isn't just to party hard and dally with lots of love interests. It's also to have some time for oneself and to treat yourself well. Link to comment
DigitalSpy Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Hi, thanks for the responses Just to clarify this is how I have been ever since I can remember even as a young kid I was always doing things for others, its not something I have just noticed since my break up...its always been this way. I certainly don't "neglect" myself, I just don't get the same enjoyment out of doing things for me like I do for others. Since being single (after a 4 year relationship) I have enjoyed the opportunity to do what I want without checking my schedules with a partner, but its just not the same... I don't put people on pedestals, I just like to be helpful and do nice things for them. Typically this is just my parents and sibling, but on occasions its close friends and extended family. I genuinely believe some people, like myself, will never be 100% content being single. On the other hand I know people that are very happy and content single. I think its just a personality/ upbringing trait that differentiates people in this situation. Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 When I'm in a relationship I feel I have a reason, someone to keep happy... I agree with you that some people enjoy single life immensely and some people enjoy relationship life immensely, but it was this line that made me think you should be careful with your outlook. IMO, it seems like you're implying that you place your reason for life/your happiness on the fact that you're in a relationship. It's not flattering to your partner when the reason you're happy is because you're are in a relationship, not because you have found a wonderful person to share your life with. Link to comment
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