slw1 Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Here's my situation,my girlriend and I have been fiends for a few monthe before we started dating.After about seven dates we started making out on her couch and one of the first things she said to me was -don't expect sex!I have never pressured her or even brought up the word sex at all in our relationship. A few dates later we are both back on the couch again ,this time she is wearing only her panties and grinding her vagina over my penis with my pants on.She told me to take my pants off ,and my underwear.When I took my underwear off she told me she didnt want to have sex.Again I didnt say anything. The next time we were together we were both naked in her bed.I performed oral sex on her and fingered her and then told her I had a condom.Again she told me diddnt want to have sex.She will perform oral on me but will not have sex with me. So can someone please tell me whats going on inside this womans head..........Thanks Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Is she a virgin? If yes, than that's a pretty good reason for her to wait, there's really no point in remaining a virgin for so long if you're just going to throw it away after a few weeks. That brings me to another question, how old are you guys? If you're adults and she's already had sex than I don't know why it is she doesn't want to have intercourse with you, perhaps she's had bad experiences in the past and she's scared? However, if you two are young (teenaged years) than this is perfectly understandable, so just wait for her until she's ready. I don't think it would be wise to pry and try to find out why it is she's so against it, just be happy with what she's giving you and settle for that. Link to comment
slw1 Posted July 31, 2004 Author Share Posted July 31, 2004 we are both 30 and I dont think she's a virgin. Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Hmm, maybe try asking her if she is? It seems unlikely that at 30 she's still a virgin, but you never know. Perhaps she wants to see whether or not you really care for her by trying you out to see how long you'll go without it? Link to comment
Shizzle Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 well thats a intressting predicament my friend, my girlfriend was like that, she was oding all this really greats tuff really teasing me, bust she told me she wasnt ready for sex, i never once like pushed her into, i handled it the way you did, didnt say anything, but after a while it was gettin really unfair she was giving me all the signs but not going troght with it, so i just asked her, she told me her side and i settled with that. your time will come n when it does all guns will be balzing Link to comment
ocean9 Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 I think that you should talk to her about this, not while it is happening of course! Clearly she is not ready for intercourse, but there could be other issues at play here. Maybe she has been sexually abused? Maybe she has never had intercourse, but has done other things? Maybe she has been hurt before by an uncaring boyfriend who was perhaps too rough or something? It could be anything. You won't know for sure until you ask her what's going on. If you care about her, talk to her about this. Stay really calm, and don't pressure her. I don't think she is playing games, because she is going very far in other areas. Link to comment
blood_lust Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 maybe shes worried the condom will break and she might get pregnent, or she's a virgin and doesn't like pain, or... she might just not want to have sex cuz she doesn't want to... or maybe shewants to get to know you more intemently before she desides to do any thing.. she could just be uncomfertable about the subject or uncomfertable about nudity or some thing she might just not feel like its her time but who knows Link to comment
Mr.Smith Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 Deffinitely talk to her, but just enjoy the things you do do together. Enjoy the buildup. Add to it. Every moment I'm with my wife I consider foreplay. You would be posting a different question if she had givin it up on the first night maybe. Link to comment
slw1 Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 I just found out thorugh a friend that she had sex with another guy last year a lot sooner in the relationship than with me.I think she doesnt want to commit to me and that is why she is reluctant to have intercourse with me. Link to comment
ocean9 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 She might think that having sex too soon would ruin a good thing. Try to think positive! She might be taking it slow because she might think there is real potential with you. Seriously, don't assume. Talk to her...don't go seeking information behind her back. Link to comment
slw1 Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 We actually broke up 2 moths ago but I have always been curious about this.She still cares a lot about me but just doesnt want to be "involved" with me...thanks for the replies though Link to comment
Akiva Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I have been in the exact same situation and know where your girlfriend is coming from. I've done the same things before and I can tell you what's up: 1. She doesn't want to catch an STD. Plain and simple. She doesn't know you well enough--i.e. what your past is. For me, and many, many other bright and self-loving women: no HIV test=no nookie! We care about ourselves waaaaay to much to put ourselves at risk. This fear of STD is probably the situation. It shows that she respects herself AND YOU. Admire her for it. Bring up the subject of STDs/safe sex. She'll be really impressed with you. Volunteer to get a full STD work up. 2. She may be unsure if she is in a committed relationship with you and doesn't want to have sex with a guy she doesn't know too well. And let's face it, it hasn't been all that long. Give her some time. Be patient. She'll appreciate it. And in the end she'll either choose to be with you or not. 3. She doesn't want to get pregnant. 4. She just doesn't want to have sex with you. She's not sure if she wants to go that way with you yet. Link to comment
June4life Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Maybe she's unsure of her feelings for you. Sex is a big event to many people, and they don't just have sex with anyone. Maybe she is unsure of your current relationship. I really don't know. Maybe shes planning to break it off soon, and she doesn't want you to feel used if you have sex and then break up. I'm totally just guessing here, I really dont know your background and relationship status. Link to comment
slw1 Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 i never tried to rush anything,its not a big deal to me anyway I've got tons of patience.Kinda thought that she was afraid to commit.Just didnt know if it was me or just wasnt ready to commit in general..thanks for the replies though. Link to comment
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