Help! Is No Contact Really What This Needs?

[GymSweetie]

BF & I were intimate 5 mos ago & have been exclusive f/the past 5 mos, 5 mos isn't very long. We've been friends 4 yrs & started seeing each other as possible love interests 7 mos ago. A couple mos ago, I told him I love him as a friend.

 

During a moment of passion 2 wks ago I slipped & told him I love him. He didn't say it back so I said to him softly, "you know you love me". Even tho he didn't say it, he's shown it. I guess I wanted him to know that I know. After I said it tho, I wished I had just kept it all to myself.

 

B4 he went to sleep, he said he was sorry and then slept with his arm & leg draped over me all nite (um, i felt a little trapped myself-lol). This encounter was the best time we've ever spent together.

 

I don't have a problem that he can't express his love for me verbally, but it's seems awkward now, like we are starting from the beginning.

 

The next day he said, "see you in a few hours". But I couldn't make it over the next day. I guess I needed some space too, so I went into NC mode for a week & then saw him twice very briefly. He didn't seem very happy to see me. Today, I showed up for a few minutes & he didn't even look at me. It seems to be getting worse, not better. Help!

[theghost]

You don't need the NC rule for this...

 

make him try to open up to you, and eventually he will....don't make him too sensitive tho...

[live_to_love]

i think you should stop the NC and just allow yourself and him to open up and talk about the whole situation. it seems like you both could benefit from it!

[skynet74]

"NO CONTACT" is for people who break up. You guys didn't break up. One day you felt weirded out and decided to not call for a week. In return that made him feel weird about YOU. Everything was fine and then suddenly you don't call for a week? No wonder he acted distant when he saw you again. He didn't know what to make out of you. You don't need NC. You need to learn to talk to him about your feelings instead of avoiding them.

 

 

 

John

[GymSweetie]

Thanks for the excellent advice!

 

Today I went to see BF for 45 mins. He initiated a 15 min fluid discussion with good eye contact, followed by him flirting with me a little. Happily, the awkwardness of the past 2 weeks seems to have subsided. He also joined in a conversation with another person & I for the remaining 30 mins. Sweet! These I consider important baby steps. Talk about feelings & relationships are huge leaps for us.

[skynet74]

Don't give up 1 day before the miracle happens.

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Hey I like that tag. It's so true! Tomorrow just may be the Day!

 

 

John