My heart is aching please read!!!

[Rosa]

After exactly 3 months from the day that changed the rest of my life...

after 2 years of thinking he was the one, today I don't hurt as much as the first day but I still burn, and my heart still wonders,

After knowing that he is already with someone new, and I'm also with someone new, I still have dreams that disturb me, and don't let me move on, I can't control my dreams, how do I tell my mind to stop... I can't.

After seeing her car in what used to be my house, our drive way and him knowing that I still need to pick up my mail, he knows I will see this, he doesn't seem to care...why is it that people can turn on you so quickly, why is it that the body needs to feed off other people's happiness, why does he feel so good without me, and I don't.

I try.......I really try, but my life hasn't been the same without him.

although he has hurt me is such a mostrous way, he let me go, and I try to still be understanding, it doesn;t fit in my heart to do what he's done to me these past few weeks.

My last conversation with him, went like this, he asked are you gonna pass by to pick up the mail? I said yes but I'm gonna wait for the rain to stop, I'll call you when I'm around, he said ok, and we hung up, then called me again two hours later and asked thae same questions, and i said yes i'm on my way, he said, just to let you know, ther is gonna be a "friend" in the house so if you see a car outside I just want you to know...so i said, no problem, we don't have to see each other anyway, leave my mail in the mailbox and its no big deal..... (no big deal??!!!)

my heart was pounding so hard, I wanted to scream, but I held it all in and went to pick the stupid mail.

of course I get there and her car is there, and all the lights in the house are off, and all you see in the tv light in the bedroom, what used to be our bedroom, I took my stuff and left.

I cried myself to sleep, only to realize that what I had been waiting for in the mail for a few weeks now was not what I had gone to pick up, so I had to unfortunately call him again to tell him it wasn't it, and to please just forward it to my new address when he does receive it. I did this the next day, because I could not bare to call him knowing that she was probably next to him.

Anyway, the next morning I called and ofcourse he was so nice and cool about it, I was cool about it too, and just said just throw everything else away that comes for me, except for the check i'm waiting for, so we don't have to call each other anymore for these silly things, I gave him my address and I said good bye, he said bye also, but I did notice that he studdered a little, but we both just hung up.

that was on a thursday, and just 4 days before that he had called me and said he wanted to see me, so blindly in love that I still am, of course I go see him, and we had the best night, but we always do, our sex life has always been great, i sleep over and he made breakfast, we woke up still loving each other, said it was nice to see each other, and I we both went to work.

and four days later this happens...I try to understand his actions, but I can't.

 

I needed to vent, and I don;t think my friends want to hear about him anymore........

I'm seeing this great guy, who really cares for me, treats me like a princess, and I wish i can give him so much more but my feelings for my ex don't let me go on, and I don't know how or what else to do.

Obviously he doesn't know about what just happened with the ex, and I would never tell him, he doesn't deserve this, and most probably I don't deserve him

[Princess777]

Hey,

 

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I sensed so much pain from your writing. *Hugs*

 

Well, my gut instinct on this is that this guy is definitely trying to make you jealous. I think what he is doing is selfish, uncaring, and cold-hearted. I don't know the circumstances of your breakup but if you used to live there, and four days prior to seeing her car in his driveway, you slept with him and had a wonderful night cause he called you over, he definitely is having his cake and eating it too. See how he reacted when you were blunt and cool about the mail, and hung up? You shook him. You were saying "Forget you, have her, I don't care" instead of crying to him, "why?". He wanted you to fall all over him with begging him back, etc. You didn't. You did the right thing.

 

I think that NC is your best bet right now. He is messing up bad, though. I know I could never be with a guy if he did that sort of thing to me. I know it's so hard to move on...... come here for support and for a cry once in a while.

[Rosa]

hi Princess77, how are you, I don't know if you remember me, we wrote each other some PM's,

Yes its me, am still aching, anyway, hope you are doing better, I know you were having a rough one also, and you are right about my ex, I think he found out I'm dating someone new, and is trying to show me that he's also moved on, tha's the only reason why I would think he's doing this to me, but I still think is so immature, childish and silly, I don't need to know who or what he is dating, and he doesn't need to know about me either, i mean for what??? what's the point? I mean isn't this what he waned in the first place? and now he's trying to play the one who has his cake and eats it too..... but you are right, it just sucks that I still want him, after all this pain, I want him to want me again..... does any body have any ideas??? anyone has a good experience that they wish to share???

[justtwicethen]

Rosa let me get this straight...

 

 

You're in love with that dude who is with another woman. And you are together with this other great guy. And you still had sex with your ex...??? Does your current boyfriend know about this?

 

IS ANYONE NORMAL IN THIS FORUM?? How can you people condone this and say, "Oh Rosa I feel your pain". I mean....this is serious infidelity. He too is being infidel.

 

Understand that a good powerful relationship is built on trust and commitment to one person. Whats up with this "hookup" stuff....

[Princess777]

To "justtwicethen",

Well, it was my understanding that Rosa is not in a serious relationship with this new guy. She said she is "seeing" him. She didn't say they were walking down the aisle or that they had agreed to be committed to each other in any way. Rosa is still in love with her ex and is most likely seeing somebody new to try to move on and get her mind off her ex, which is fine as long as she's not misleading him. I highly doubt that she has told this new guy that she loves him or wants a serious relationship that involves commitment. I was being sympathetic and sensitive to her feelings..... sorry if that offended you. And to answer your other question, who is to say who is normal? What IS normal, anyway? Everyone gets through problems differently. I am sorry that you feel this way about the forum, and I hope you can find some help here or somewhere for your frustration. Has someone cheated on you in the past? Me too, after 10 years.... so I know what you're angry about if that's what this is all about.

 

Rosa,

Yes I remember you. I hadn't heard back from you in awhile. I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling. I really think he's trying to make you jealous, and especially if he knows about the new guy you're seeing.

 

PM me if you want to talk more!

[Rosa]

Justtwicethen,

 

Princess77 understands, this good guy I'm just getting to know him, he knows about my last relationship and knows how hard its been, he's still there for me, and understands, no he doesn't know about what happened last week, but we are not even close to anything serious, infidelity??? how do you figure if I don't even call him my boyfriend? I can agree that by sleeping with my ex it didn't do me or him any good other than just a great night of uncontrollable, passionate, sex,......but that's it.........

tha's probably all that's left of me and him.

Princess77, I've read a few replies from you in different forums and it seems you are doing better, I thought I was doing better myself, as I've been spending time with friends, but it comes down to a lot of drinking and partying, which leave me in a much bigger downer the next day, but I can't help to just try to numb myself just to not think about anything real.

I don't know what else to do to try to move on...