What should I do?

[Poilu]

Ok! Here's the story.... I met a girl on the web and it was connecting right away! I mean, It was like we knew each other since always..... We saw pictures of each other, web cam etc.... and talked about life, and everything and we kind of virtualy felt in love.... We started to talk on the phone and everything.... Now she wants to see me, and she's expecting a lot from us..... The problem is that I'm 29 and she's 15..... She's knows my age but she doesn't care.... I do care about her age and I told her, so she started to give me all the laws regarding dating minor when your are an adult.... That everything was "legal" (I'm from Canada) And it seems that her father doesn't care about how old would be her boyfriend.... She is very mature, I felt like talking to a 30 years old girl.... till I saw her on the cam.... At least we are honnest with each other..... But i'm scared of all this. I feel like a pedo, but the thing is that I'm not looking for sex so.... it is strange..... I do care for that girl but I don't want to hurt her.

 

Don't be too hard on me! Tell me what you think.

[AngelOfDarknes]

shes a bit young for you sorry. if you really like her wait till she turns 18, she young thats why she dosent care about the age cuzz she dosent understand,and if she said her father dosent care how old is her bf then maybe you should personaly ask him instead of her, cuzz she could be lieing.

[lonelynshy]

I understand how you feel but for your own safety,I think you should wait till she turns 18. (if she doesn't want to wait,then that's a red flag). That doesn't mean you can't meet her but you'll have to avoid getting intimate. Even if she doesn't mind,her family may make trouble for you.

By the way, do you think she is really 'mature' or just intelligent/savvy? It's not the same thing. I found out the hard way. I don't mean to case offense to anyone but some teenage girls sound more mature than they really are. Been there,done that.

[tRiKTa]

definitely wait till she's 18 things will only become complicated otherwise. Just wait and be patient

[Poilu]

hum..... you are right but I mean, what is wrong if legaly everything is ok? I mean, I think the problem is more how it is perceived by the people.... I'll be judge by the people.... even if everything is legal. That's weird.... Anyway, we checked the laws and we talked to a policeman and a lawyer about it, and there's no problem. I think only time will tell.

[hurtabandoned]

As a parent, I don't see how her father would be okay with that. If my husband found out that our daughter was talking with someone that old - He wouldn't be able to run fast enough. The above post is right, may not be telling you the truth.

 

Wait until she is older. She's just a kid, no matter how old she sounds.

[Gary B]

i met this girl over the internet and went round her mates house and had a few beers.there was 2 other girls there as well.we all got talking having a laugh as you do.

now i didnt do anything with her even though we slept in the same bed,but it struck me today that i do like her but i also like her friend,and her friend told me she likes me more than a friend.

when i woke up i noticed that her mate put her number in my phone without me knowing,i saw her messing around with my phone but didnt think anything of it as she gave no indication that she liked me.

me and her mate have talked about us really like each other but there is one problem sarah the girl i met over the net,they are best friends and i dont want to hurt her.

but i like her mate so much and she feels the same about me.

can anyone help me or give me any advice on what to do!

thanks peeps.gary b

[aguilela]

i don't know but i am the person who doesn't care about age much. i did care about a lot alot a lot before i met my boyfriend frankly speakin, my boyfriend is much younger than i am i alwayz worry about that like you but...he is much mature than his age fellows and important thing is we love each other n we try to work out everything yeah,. if you have somehtin good you have to b willing to have somehtin hard time and sacrifice sometimes...we have a lot of problem..n it always goes to the issue of age...but...i think it is ok every relationship has hard time and somethin bad situation and sacrifice...so..well..if i were you i would try but slow...and ..you gotta know her very well too...n..don't think like you would hurt her...cuz...that is life and she can make her choice too so..first you treat her as adult ok? ..that's very important thing...

good luck!!!

 

[lv4bnzs]

No way! im 22 and i wound do it

[SPark]

Since you are not looking for a sexual relationship, there is nothing to stop you continuing to talk online and continue your friendship and get to know each other really well. At some point you will probably want to bring your family and her family into the loop, just to be sure that they are really ok with it all. I would think that if you are serious about pursuing the relationship you would be eager/ willing to introduce yourself to her family and let them ask any and all questions that they might have about your intentions. You might also like to introduce her to your family and friends so that you can see how they get along and what they all think of one another. Keeping this a big secret might sound like a great idea, but being open about who you are and what you are doing is the best way to build a strong relationship with your own family AND with your new friend. A phone call to her dad or an exchange of letters introducing yourself will also go a long way to making sure that everyone is on the same page and that misunderstandings/ misleading claims are kept to a minimum. Then you will be able to build your relationship slowly and gradually over time and you can take your time and get to know each other. You can also help other people a lot on the internet, so best wishes for a happy relationship and lots of mutual caring and aid.

 

You sound like a nice person. Just be honest to yourself and others and don`t let anyone put you in an uncomfortable situation or rush into anything that you might regret and won`t be able to re-do. She is young and might not know yet exactly what she wants, or her ideas and feelings may change as she grows up. If this relationship is for real, you have all the time in the world and there is no need to push for a certain outcome...just enjoy being together and sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another.

 

If you DO decide to take your relatonship to a sexual level in the future, may I recommend cybersex? It is safe, fun, interactive, and will give her the chance to get to know herself and her own body at her leisure, with no pressure from you. Again, I would recommend making sure that her family is really ok with your relationship with their daughter BEFORE you take it to the next level.