Dating someone unattractive

[JoJo90814]

What do you guys REALLY think of this? Does it last? Do most mates date equally attractive mates?

 

I know its what on the inside that counts, but is it hard to be with someone who is considered unattractive in general?

 

There is this guy I am dating who would be seen as generally unattractive, but I like the person he is so much I dont care and I feel attracted to him. But hearing comments from my sister or friends saying "you are WAY more attractive then him, you can do WAY better all around- find a good guy who is better looking." It makes me question myself and feel a little embarrassed to be seen with him. I know thats awful but what is the reality of it?

[pennyloafer2]

Is he overweight? unkept? Why do people view him as unattractive? I find that even people with obvious flaws (big nose, or balding, or ugly teeth) are not called unattractive when they take care of themselves.

 

At the end of the day it matters what you think, but if the social pressure is getting to you, it would help if he was viewed as a male with value in your social environment. (Sorry, evolutionary psychology speaking)

 

It would help if he was social, a well liked guy, took good care of himself and respected. Then people would look past any unattractiveness.

 

Either that or the friends you have are really shallow or don't know him at all and have only seen him at a passing glance. I sometimes joke to my friends about couples that don't seem right, where one of the people is hotter than the other, but it's not something you go and say to someone's face. People like who they like, and I have no interest in telling them to go find someone better looking.

 

I am dating someone who is balding a bit but otherwise has a great body and I'm attracted to him. I am a pretty gorgeous lady in my opinion, and I attract lots of men pretty regularly. No one has ever told me to go find a guy who is better looking (well, the only people who have hinted at this are guys who have ulterior motives). He has flaws but everyone likes him and nobody would dare tell me who to be attracted to, I guess!

 

Hope it works out well.

[JoJo90814]

I think youre right about the "taking care of himself" comment. He just has no vanity at all and when he really takes care of himself he looks much better. The biggest thing are his teeth which really need to be fixed.

[lvrnftr11]

Just my opinion. I feel a long term relationship/marriage starts with an attraction, everyone deserves that! Be his friend if you like him, that's ok. Make sure you talk with him about it. If you haven't felt that attraction yet you haven't dated enough. We have all seen the odd couples. It's there life to live and love. I am still attracted to a gal that I think is BY FAR! the most beautiful creature on earth!!! But I have realized that I don't hear others say that she is beautiful. OMG!!!! I see it, why don't they? Date, date, date, I don't think anyone should have to settle.

[pinkelephant]

That was my ex and I. He's conventionally unattractive. Everyone made it a big deal about how ugly he was and how I was "too good [looking]" for him. And it mostly just pissed me off than anything. Who the hell cares what OTHER people think who's too good for who?!!! They're not in the relationship and they don't understand the connection you have.

 

If he hadn't cheated on me, we'd still be together (given that he loved me as much as he said he did... but i digress). If we did break up, it would be over his perceived unattractiveness.

[The Archer]

You’ve stated that you are attracted to him so surely that’s what matters?

 

It wouldn’t matter who I dated there is no way anyone I know would say to my face that I should be dating someone better looking. In my social circle that’s simply something that is never said. At least not to someone’s face.

 

I’m quite shocked that your sister has pointed out she thinks you are way more attractive than him and that you could do “better”. I don’t care what you both look like I’d consider this to be quite rude.

 

What are you going to listen to? People with bad manners or your own feelings?

[halfie]

It really depends on the degree and the depth of you're vanitys perception of people.

You might be abit unsure now but about this issue but how much is it going to kill later? Or is it simply going to fade away?

 

This world is vain, there's no two ways about it but can you hack, not necessarily what people will say, it's can you hack knowing what they are all thinking?

No doubt this guy sounds like a good bloke and its no coincidence that people who are deemed 'unattractive' tend to have the most colourful personalities.

 

''but I like the person he is so much I dont care and I feel attracted to him''

 

I believe Some realtionships require to have an equal and if not a substantial ammount of emotional AND physical/sexual attraction, depending on each individuals degree of vanity and what not. However, some simply do not, and their love can be just as strong These realtionships I would deem the most strongest.

 

But still ask yourself if can you hack the social judgement and ask yourself if you are you going to love him like no tomorrow even when nobody is around.

[doyathink]

In my eyes an unattractive man is a man who treats me wrong. Vanity is only skin deep, but a heart of gold that treats me like a queen, is a beautiful man.

[Snowy]

In my eyes an unattractive man is a man who treats me wrong. Vanity is only skin deep, but a heart of gold that treats me like a queen, is a beautiful man.

 

That's beautiful.