Any help/advice please?

[Walkedoveragain]

I don't know where to start. After my previous posts, me and my boyf have been getting along a lot better. We decided to take things slow and enjoy each other's company. Until last night! My boyf picked his son up from his ex-girlfriend and he reminded her he was at my brother's wedding in 2 weeks time (this has been arranged since March). She said she he didn't tell her (I know he did) and that she had booked to go abroad that weekend with her daughter (from a previous relationship) and that he would have to look after their son. Children are not allowed at my brother's wedding and now my boyf cannot attend. I feel so disappointed and let down we have both been looking forward to this for weeks. His ex has no consideration for our relationship and I wonder why she didn't ask my boyf if he had any plans before she booked to go away as he does with her. She knows we are in a LDR and only see each other on a weekend (approx every 3-4 weeks apart). I tried to reason with my boyf in that he needs to put his foot down with her and he said this wouldn't help, she is going away and that's that. Im just venting I suppose but wonder if any other members have similar problems with their partner's exes and how do they feel about this and overcome it?

[evepm]

Dear Walkedoveragain:

 

I was in a similar situation with my ex b/f. He has 2 children and his ex was constantly "dumping" the children on us to pursue her social life. It was not a case of not wanting the children around but we needed time for ourselves. So we got together and came up with a plan that would allow her and us our own downtime.

 

You and your b/f have to work on this together. Present and united front with his ex. But this will only work if he is willing to do it. His ex needs to understand and respect that you two are a couple and that you need to spend time together. I think that you should speak with your b/f and come up with arrangements together. Good Luck

 

evepm

[Walkedoveragain]

Thanks for your reply. I dont know whether to end the relationship as I feel he has put his ex first. I think the least he couldve done is to say to her it was tough and she should cancel her plans but he wouldnt do this. I feel I deserve better than i feel he can give me and as long as he is not prepared to stand up to his ex Im not sure whether I can carry on. I have had more tears than laughter in this relationship recently and a i dont think its worth it..... On the other hand i love him very much and when we are together we get on so well. I think im going to have to take some time to think about things.

[Walkedoveragain]

P.S you say your "ex" was this inevitably the cause of your break up?

[evepm]

No we did not break because of the kids. We broke up because there was way too much stress in other areas of our life together. Mostly his baggage from his family and I could'nt handle it.