Any opinions? Anyone?

[hurtin]

Long story short, my gf of nearly 3 years dumped me about a month ago. I tried to be as civil as possible..only 2 emails asking how she was. She replied to both of them, and that is the only contact I've gotten from her. However, I now realize that her silence speaks volumes to me. The problem, is that I bang my head everyday wondering why this is happening, why isn't she contacting me etc.. I simply cannot do this anymore. thereforeeee, I was thinking of telling her that although I still love her very much and wish I could do something to make this all better, I agree with her decision and think we should let each other free.

 

Now, I am NOT doing this in an attempt to jolt her mind or make her think that I'm moving on. I'm simply doing this so I can be true to myself and make sure she knows where I am. I still have this weird feeling that she is going to come back someday, but for now I need to move on, and give her the space she so desperatly needs.

 

Can anyone give me some advice on this? Or are my emotions simply getting the best of me??

 

Thanks,

Hurtin

[Beec]

Why does it matter if she knows you are moving on? If you are moving on, then just do it. I think it matters to you jsut because you think it might give her a jolt. If not, why bother telling her?

 

The next and rel questions to ask are what went wrong and waht do you really want? Not easy ones to answer.

[Katheelynn]

My opinion is not to have contact with her. Her actions are saying she HAS moved on. Spare yourself the pain of more rejection and concentrate on you. She knows where and how to reach you if she changes her mind. You appear to have the answer, now you need to just step out and act on it!

[hurtin]

Your right guys...looks like I was the one who needed the jolt!!!

[cassiana]

I would like to hear more. From the bit you have given us I don't think you need to tell her you are moving on. Your silence would be far more effective. Its NC for you. It sounds like its over but I'm not sure because you didn't tell us enough.

[StandTall]

If you are thinking you need to go back for a second kick in the groin, read this first:

 

It's Monday morning, and I am so sad to be here writing once again. It all began last week when my ex called me after several months of NC to see how I was doing. I was certainly surprised to get the call. We talked for a while, and then hung up. I had nothing going on that afternoon, and so felt comfortable to call her back and see if she wanted to get together for a seemingly harmless drink. The drink turned into dinner, and we had a great time catching up- It seemed like not a day had passed. She even flirted with her foot on my leg under the table.She then dropped a bomb and asked me if I wanted to come back to her place. I knew right away that this was probably not the greatest idea, but I did it anyway. We had a great evening talking, sharing intimacy, and just enjoying eachother's company. The next morning, we actually played hookey from work and spent the day together. I realized we were now well past the point of an innocent drink, and I was feeling very vulnerable. We were apart that week with plans to get together the following weekend. We got together this past Friday night for happy hour, and sat and talked on the beach. It was great, and I thought that somehow we were on a path of getting back together. The next day, I attended a surprise party for her brother, and was around her friends and family for the first time in months. It was good to see all of them, and her mother told me that my ex said she missed me to her. I was happy to hear that, and began to think I really had a chance here. The next morning, Sunday, she woke up a bit hungover and was not in the best mood. Our plans outdoors were cancelled due to the weather, so we then opted to do some clothes shopping with her daughter for school. The whole day, I felt like I was back seat- Just like old times. I really wanted it to be a full day for us to try and reconcile, but something else came first as always. We were far from being a couple again, and I really didn't feel like going into another week without some idea of where I stood. I asked her if I could stay over, and she said "Sure". With an enthusiastic reply like that, I knew we had to have "The talk". I told her that I felt like I was putting her in an uncomfortable position, and I didn't want to feel the need to force my way into her life. I wanted her to want me to stay over. She said she thought we were going to take it slow. I would have gladly taken it slowly, but I could tell that nothing about her, including her feelings had changed, and I really didn't feel like prolonging the inevitable. It was going to be hard enough to let go once again. I cried in her arms. I was well on my way to recovery, and feel like I'm starting at day one again. I hope that this post might help prevent someone from going through what I am. I am so sad this morning. Anyone have any thoughts that might help? As always, thanks.