am i in love?

[alwaysinmess]

i broke up with my boyfriend two days ago. In fact i told him to leave me for his own good because i am not able to decide whether i really want to get involved in a serious relation with him and we have been together since almost 3 years..so he did leave me , he blocked me and deleted me and stopped calling me.. yet i am not happy , i want to talk with him and i miss him but it was me who told him to leave me , i even told him i am not in love with him, in the same time i care for him and i think that i love him , but i am not in love, so maybe it seems crasy for u , i don't know it is weird .. i feel i am lost , do i love him or no .. i don't know anymore.. not to mention that in fact it is not the first time i broke up with him .. i did it million times during these three years, then coming back... it is a closed cycle.. i don't know what is wrong exactly..

[Sadboy75]

Hi There

 

My girlfriend has done that to me three times.... it hurts like hell her coming and going all the time... she needs her own time and space to work through her issues... to decide what she really wants in life! She says she loves me and is in love with me, yet, we decided to break up in order for her to sort out the mess in her head!

 

So I am simply giving her the sapce she ever so needs. Maybe thats why your ex is blocking you etc so that, if you do come back, you are coming back for the right reasons! He probably cant afford to have it happen to him again!

 

I am now one week into NC with my ex and it is very hard but it is the way to go. During this time she can sort her head out just like you should. What do you really want? Is it him? Is it comapny? These decision you have to make! It may take you a while but you have to sort yourself out before going back to him and taking him on an emotional roller coaster ride!

 

My advice is - stay away for a short while and gather your thoughts, feelings etc and then you will be in a better position to go back. That way he will know you are coming back for good reasons and will not be defensive.

 

Good Luck

[OceanEyes]

If you know that you're not 'in love' with him, I would probably suggest taking a bit of a longer break from him. It's not fair to return to him, knowing that he is in love with you, only to break up with him again in the future. I do understand what it feels like to love and need someone, but at the same time, the passion and emotion while you're together just isn't strong enough to be considered 'in love'. It's hard, because you know that once it's gone, it's impossible to get it back.

 

Alwaysinmess - ask yourself if you really see yourself with him long-term. It's tough being with someone who you don't have the same feelings for as they have for you. It won't work out if you can't figure out exactly what you want from him.

 

Sadboy75, I also can totally sympathize with your situation. I took 'a break' from my boyfriend a few months ago to sort my head out, but I did come back to him much more clear-minded and loving him more than I ever did. Things between us now are better than they've ever been.

[alwaysinmess]

i would like to thank you for replying , i think maybe u are right . i should stay away for now. Anyway i wouldn't make a contact with him after telling him to leave me but i admit that i want to... anyway u have reason i used to come back without thinking well about a future for the relation.. so i think i have to accept your advise and give things time so that i can know exactly what i want.. thank u again and good luck for u with ur girlfriend.

[alwaysinmess]

well, thank u ocean eyes.. yeah i know that it is not fair for him. that is why i asked him to leave me, but if i am not in love with him why am i upset for not talking with him. i feel sometimes i am getting crazy : it is not normal to ask someone to leave you then crying because he did. and even the idea of not going back anymore makes me upset.. anyway forget the problem is that i am lost i think sadboy 75 was right also to tell me to think clearly about what i want.. anyway i am sure i don't want to go back to a closed cycle .. this time if i did it, it should be for clear reasons... thank you again ocean eyes and sadboy75 for replying