I need help on how to not smother my boyfriend and stop it

[bluegirll]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 10 months now and we are both 17 in high school. He has liked me for 2 years and has asked me out many many times in the last 2 years but i always told him no. This past year i finally said yes and ever since then we have spent about 95 percent of our time together. I am his first girlfriend and he is my first boyfriend. We do practically everything together and are always together. He has been telling me though for the past couple of months that he would like to go out with his friends sometimes and do other things with other people but its hard for me to accept and everytime he tells me this i get really upset and cry. We both love each other to death and we are both commited to each other and he tells me he would never do anything to hurt me and i know he wouldnt but i just feel like i dont want him to go do other stuff with other people and i just want him all to myself all the time. I feel really jealous when he does go out with his friends or do stuff with them because i think ... why cant i go or that hes having more fun with them than he does with me. He keeps on telling me that he wants to go do things with his friends and i just get upset and we get into arguments and it makes him mad. He has told me before we started going out he would hang out alot with his friends and have fun with them and that he misses that but its hard for me to let him go and do other things with other people b/c i just want him to be with me all the time. He also told me that if i cant accept it and give him space it probably wont work out between me and him. Can anyone give me any advice on what to do PLEASE?!

[drydupfob]

hey bluegirl sorry to hear about ur prob that you are having...... I may offer you some advise that I never got at that time of my relationship.

 

A healthy relationship is based on trust and understanding.... not based on spending every single second that you have with that particular person. It does not make sense to have him do everything with you altho you two are together, people still need time apart to do their own stuff with their own friends. You said that you get jealous when he hangs out with other people..... can u explain that? do u think he's cheatin on you or something? Its still not too late..... just give him time to do what he wants and not always be on his neck about hanging with this own friends.... Basically thats how me and my ex broke up. I didn't really want her hanging out with her own friends and she felt like i was controlling her life..... so when he's not hanging out wiht you... you should go hang out with ur friends or do the things you like to do. Find what makes you happy and do it..... I mean would u rather have him hang out with him and loose him for a couple of hours or would you rather not let him and loose him forever?

 

if you needa talk more about it just pm me or aim me....

best of luck.

nan

[Rainy]

Hi

 

Your boyfriend will still love you when you and him are not in each others company, and i know you will miss him and he will miss you and when you both are together it will your time all the more special, maybe you could ask for a comprimise and ask if you can hang out with him and his friends every so often, and when you are not in his company, go out with your friends and have fun, it will make your relationship stronger if you can trust him and let him go out with his friends,

[jaiva]

Trust and honesty are the most important things in a relationship. You have to be able to trust the person that you are in a relationship with. If you can't trust them then either you or they have a problem and it doesn't seem as if he has a problem he just want to be with his friends. I'm sure you can ease up by finding friends and also spending time with them while he spends time with his friends. You gotta give him a chance and show him that you trust him. Hope I helped.

Jaiva

[lilygrob]

Well as I was reading your insert I thought to myself hey I feel the same way about my boyfriend, I am 23 soon to be 24 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together for one of the two years. I felt like I just had to spend every minute of every day with him or I would die, I didnt think it, I felt it! I used to let him hang out with his buddies all the time, I was ok with him just hanging out at the strip club with his friends too until one day he came home after a night of heavy drinking and his phone rang, it was about 3am, I never went through his phone or anything like that, I didnt see the need but that night something told me to answer it.....when i did it was his ex girlfriend......I was so angry that I slapped, punched, kicked him with everything in me......you see giving them freedom isnt always the wisest thing, he apologized and we made up. I wasnt mad for long, what he doesnt know is that Im still sleeping with an ex! LOL!!! I have been the entire time we've been together!