piratehound Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Question for the females: if you've been flirting with a guy and you really like him, and he seems into you, how long will you keep talking/flirting with him if he never asks you out or escalates things? Link to comment
Geordayyyy Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I know this is one for the ladies but i feel i may be falling foul of this right now and would like to know how you want it to escalate or even the signs that the girl wants it to go further... Link to comment
Lovelace Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I give them just a few weeks, usually. If I'm flirting hardcore, you know it. My last ditch effort is usually a kiss on the cheek. If they can't take it from there, then they're not for me. Link to comment
confused24 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Why dont you make the first move? You can still be a lady and ask a man out. Some guys are shy and maybe he doesnt know if you are interested. Thats really the only way to find out. Good luck! Link to comment
Devia Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Why dont you make the first move? You can still be a lady and ask a man out. Some guys are shy and maybe he doesnt know if you are interested. Thats really the only way to find out. Good luck! Some girls, including myself, don't ask guys out because of reasons like discussed here: Personally, for me it depends on the guy for how long I remain interested or if I've met someone else who I like better. Obviously according to what I said in my thread it's been a long time with the current one and I'd still be interested if he asked me out. Link to comment
confused24 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Well then you might never know. I have been dating for many years and have asked many guys out and guess what, not every one was interested. So what? Then you know to move on and not have to worry about posting online questions finding out if a guy is interested. I think its ridiculous actually to not ask someone out because of some stupid 'hes just not that into you' theory. Its not always that simple. Maybe by now you dont even care about the guy you originally posted about. But if another comes along, you wouldnt want to miss an oppurtunity because you both are shy. Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Some girls, including myself, don't ask guys out because of reasons like discussed here: Personally, for me it depends on the guy for how long I remain interested or if I've met someone else who I like better. Obviously according to what I said in my thread it's been a long time with the current one and I'd still be interested if he asked me out.Every situation is different.In your particular case which you posted the link for ,the guy wasn't shy and if I recall you made it very obvious you were interested. It's not that black and white to assume a man isn't interested if he does not ask you out.If the guy in question is very shy you will have to make it much more obvious to him [since he greatly fears rejection]that you are interested in him. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I would probably say a few weeks, if not I would just make the first move and take it from there. IMO, it's always good to just take the initiative sometimes. If you get turned down, so what? Keep it moving. At least you wont be wasting time wondering what if. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Every situation is different.In your particular case which you posted the link for ,the guy wasn't shy and if I recall you made it very obvious you were interested. It's not that black and white to assume a man isn't interested if he does not ask you out.If the guy in question is very shy you will have to make it much more obvious to him [since he greatly fears rejection]that you are interested in him. True. And perhaps the guy thinks you're not that interested, or you didn't have a positive reaction to him bringing up the idea of hanging out. There's a girl I've been going back and forth on this for a while because of that. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Why does it matter so much who leads the pursuit? Don't have too much pride, you see too much pride is a bad thing and you will have a hard time meeting anybody worth anything like that. You cannot be afraid to take the initative or lead if you have to if you really find someone intriguing and that you'd like to get to know. You see that's the issue, everybody wants something for nothing. People want to like you, want to become exclusive and date but they don't want to put themselves out there, they want you to do all the work. That way, if in the end things doesn't workout then they feel like they haven't lost anything. It's a fear; insecurity issue that most of us have - pride. Pride. Pride. Pride. You cannot ever expect to have a good relationship or dating/social life if you do not learn to get rid of your fear and your pride and learn to put yourself out there a little bit. Link to comment
missberlee Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 The guy that I've been seeing has kept my interest for 4 months without making a move on me. We text almost daily, see each other often, go on dates and hang out together in a group but have done nothing more than friends. It's somewhat strange because the both of us are physically attracted to one another, and for sure there is chemistry between us, but it's almost like none of us want to jump into a relationship fearing that it would ruin the connection that we have right now. Link to comment
savignon Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Just because a girl wants a guy to take the initiative in asking her out does not mean she wants him to "do all the work". I don't like when women are made to sound all passive-aggressive b/c they want to be asked out first. And there's nothing wrong with girls asking guys out either....but if a girl prefers to be asked out it doesn't mean the world is passing her by. It means both the guy and she miss the opportunity to take things to the next level. My husband was about the shyest guy I'd ever met and hadn't even considered him as a potential dating partner until we got to know each other a bit. I showed interest for sure and so did he. Eventually he got the courage to ask me out and it's something I remember so fondly about him. Instead of thinking of him as shy or not able to work up any nerve or incapable or whatever I might have assigned to "shy" I really saw him as someone who would go for what he wants, had some degree of confidence, I knew for sure he was interested, etc. etc. It let me see in a strength in him that I might not have seen otherwise. Long and short....it worked for us!! Link to comment
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