i cheated on my boyfriend, and i dont know what to do!!

[princessforjd]

My name is Amanda and i am having problems with cheating on my boyfriend of 3 years. he has tooken me back everytime but this time it was with his bestfriend of 12 years, we have our own place and now he wants to break the lease. he said that he will take me back if i can prove to him that i love him. and to PROMISE that i will STOP cheating on him. i dont know what to do. I love Him with all my heart, and i don't know what i would do without him. i need him in my life! i know i messed up. but can someone please help me! i need to know what i can do to prove to him that i love him to death and i would do anything for him. i dont know why i keep cheating. what should i do????

[AzurePhoenix]

What compelled you to cheat on him in the first place?

 

~AzurePhoenix

[lady00]

You need to figure out why you're cheating so much so you can stop. Is there something that he's not providing you with that you seek elsewhere? this may be on a subconscious level. Think to yourself: do you really want this guy? If so, then why all the cheating? Each time you do it, you make him feel like a fool for trusting you. After a while his trust and patience will eventually run out. You need to do some soulsearching and think about whether or not your relationship is fulfilling you. If you really love him then you really shouldn't put him through the pain of taking you back only to have you cheat again. If you can't control that, you need to let him go.

[Iwanthim]

I believe if you have to look or sleep with other guy when you are with other guy or girl then you shouldnt be together bc once you cheat you will repeat it

[Beec]

lady00 is right. If you don't know why you are doing it, then you won't be able to get at the root of the problem.

 

Do you miss the thrill of an initial attraction and crumble as soon as someone new pays you attention? Do you just not want to be tied down to one man in an exclusive relationship? What is the reason you do it? What are you thinking when it happens? Can I get away with it or soemthing else?

[OceanEyes]

he said that he will take me back if i can prove to him that i love him. and to PROMISE that i will STOP cheating on him. i dont know what to do.

 

Well, the most obvious way to prove to him that you love him would be to put a lot of extra effort into the relationship, and of course, to stop cheating! I had a girlfriend who kept cheating on her boyfriends, one after the other, and not just once, but up to 5 or 6 times.

 

Ask yourself if you're really in love with this guy. Out of my own personal experience, cheating repeatedly is a pretty good indicator that things just aren't right or 'not meant to be'.

 

There's obviously something really lacking in your relationship, something you're not getting, or not getting enough of. Do you know what it is? What do you usually argue about? Is your boyfriend a good communicator?

 

I don't know about the other ladies here, but I cheated when I just didn't feel loved and secure. How would it make you feel if he cheated on you?

[summerdreams]

you obviously don't love him to death if you cheat on him...especially more than once. You obviously wouldn't do ANYTHING for him, because he's already asked you to stop and you haven't. Sorry to break it to you.

I think you need to be single...maybe you're too young to be in a relationship. All i know is that this is definitely unfair for him. Take a break from each other for a little while to figure things out. That's my advice.

[FreemanIG88]

You probably shouldn't be in a relationship until you get your cheating thing dealt with. Think about it. You just hurting this guy 3 times so far... you need to deal with your demons.

[Jamiegirl]

I think he may not be giving you what you need because if he gave you everything you needed then why would you cheat. Either that or you just want variety. If you love him then you have to stop cheating on him. Thats the only way you can prove it to him. And you to get him to trust you agian. Without trust a relationship cannot and will not work and thats a fact.

 

Talk things out and set some limits for yourself. The best way to figure out whats going on in your relationship is to talk openly and to be completely honest about everything.

[Francis]

May be you are cheating on your bf, not because you don't love him, but because you have serious unsolved issues. If you are cheating because of reasons unknown, then most probably, there are some subconscious reasons that make you do it.

 

Subconscious reasons are reasons that are so hurtful to you that you don't want to ever think about them : thoughts that you swept under the carpet that you don't want to face.

 

Whatever the reasons, you should talk with your boyfriend and establish a secure relationship with him, where you two feel free to communicate your feelings. That way you may feel more strong and capable to face your fears.

 

However, it is true that you don't have the right to hurt another person because of your own weaknesses. A rapist is a weak destitute because of his past, but does not have the right to hurt children (just a dramatic example). If you see that your bf is getting really hurt because of his involvement with you, then perhaps you should suggest that he meet other girls and you should work on your problems before entering into a new relationship.

 

Take care!