WHAT DO WOMEN WANT???

[Outlaw2747]

This is the question that will probably never be answered or be forever misunderstood but it is a good topic nonetheless. WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT? What do they want from us guys really? Because with me and a few others at this site, it seems as if they want somthing one day, and want something else the next. What do they look for in a guy, or a date, personality, looks, committment, ANYTHING! This is one question that will probably forever stump me.....

[Shinobie]

Ya it might be good to get some intel but maybe women want to keep it a secret ahhh !Ya but it might be really nice just to know what they really want when on a date,around a guy,etc. but it probably varies from woman to woman because we are all very complex human beings with very complex feelings.

[sunnyp]

1.Women want to be treated with as much respect as you would give to any of your piers. 2.recognized as equals in all dealings with their partner or husband.

3.loyal friendship

4.faithful, no adultery

6.remembered on birthdays, Valentines Day, Christmas, extra

7.want to be taken out

8.romance

9.neber lied to

10.Respected and considered as man's best confident! And I don't mean like man's best friend in a pet! Smile!

11.Never called a foul name

12.never criticized only told in a gentle tone that they are wrong

13.Never beaten on

14.No secrets between the two of you

15.a man who will work his self to a frenzy trying not to ever put her as second best.

[DopeStar]

I think that this question should be wiped from the minds of men, I don't think we will ever know for sure what a women wants. My only suggestion is to test the waters a little bit and pay attention to how they react to things you do, the way you talk to them, the way you treat them. We will never know what they want, but we can atleast begin to understand how they act and react to things and situations and I think we would be surprised by the truth behind this.

 

I would share my beliefs on the answer to you original question but last time I did I got the thread shutdown. So if you want it PM me.

 

PS. Sorry about that Outlaw2747 and everyone else in the discussion, I did not think I would be so wrongfully judged and misunderstood.

[JonnyG]

well im not sure if my response was taken out or i forgot to post it (nothing offensive in it so i guess i forgot to post it properly ). But to keep it short, i dont think many younger women know what they want, cause a lot of them throw away the good guys around them (not all though of course ) . I think older women can give u a better response on this question.

[theghost]

What do you mean no adultery?

[ComputerGuy]

Don't sleep around on them

[_Ramirez_]

I don't think this is a question one can answer, especially not by a man. Every women want something different, like every men want something different.

 

The trick is to find a woman that want what you want the way you want it and build a future on it. Basically they want what we want...

 

You can't compare oranges and apples and an apple won't ever really know what being an orange feels like. We have all tendancies but they are dictated by society. You should ask yourself what YOU want, be comfortable with it and you will become what one woman want and she'll make you know it when she'll find you.

[NittanyKitten]

If you really want to know, listen to the song "B*tch" by meredith Brooks. It describes how we are perfectly.

 

We really are all of those things, at varying degrees, encompased into one being. All we really want its to be accepted, good and bad, for who and what we are. We don't want to be told or made to feel as though we need or have to change.

 

Believe it or not, comments about weight, looks, or personality, even when meant as a joke, can and will make us feel like we have to change just to keep you happy. And, because we want you to be happy, we will sacrifice our own happiness, wants, and needs for you guys. Talk about and act of devotion, caring, and love.

 

The problem here is we aren't always happy doing these things. We like who we are and don't want to change. But, we will anyways, and we'll appear to be happy, because we want our men to be happy. If men would just accept us (good and bad traits, which means stop avoiding us those 5 days of the month when we are cranky. It's not like you guys have never been pissy in your lives!) we wouldn't have to hurt ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally by trying to conform to what they want us to be. In turn, we can make you happier, because we, ourselves, are happier.

 

 

P.S. ... JonnyG, I LOVE the pic of Gizmo!!! He's the cutest thing on the planet!!!

[mahlina]

I think that what most women want in a man: is a Bestfriend of the opposite sex that we completely bond with. Someone who feel attracted to: emotionally, mentally, and physically. It's kinda hard to find that busom buddy who fits that mold. thereforeeee, it's truly hard to run into someone who we feel that complete bond with. But I sincerely think that's what we're looking for.

 

I also have to stress on factors such as emotional/physical/mental chemistry because if one ingredient is lacking more than the other, then somehow, the chemistry's just quite not there. If it's imbalanced, then unfortunately, the passion will eventually simmer down, and a couple might grow apart. thereforeeee, it's really crucial for both partners to be true to themselves in asking what they truly want in partner.

 

I've seen authors write up on books on how to Win Women. In reality, those books are an excellent source for information, but what it really boils down to is the Chemistry. For me, it's either there or it's not. It's the initial impression that I get from upon our first meeting a guy that determines whether or not, I might find him more intresting and outstanding compared to the others. That kind of chemistry is hard to find. A couple just 'clicks' or they don't.

 

Other than the basics, there are other things that women want in men. The answers will vary according to personal preference. Here are some of the things that I look for in a guy, if this helps.

 

1.) Chemistry Emotiional, physical, and mental.

2.) Values Does he respect others? How mature is he?

3.) Honesty Does he feel the need to lie at times? Is he open and honest about his opinions to me? How honest is he with other people? What's his integrity like?

4.) Responsible-ness Is he responsible in his daily life? Or does he flounder around and wait for a sugar mama to come? (J/K! Most guys I know are pretty responsible). Any criminal records? Misdemeanors? History of violence? Is he goal oriented? Basically, these are some of the traits that I see in a guy, to determine whether or not is he mature and responsible enough to be a supportive father/husband.

5.) Humbleness Does he ever go through bouts of ego trips? I.E. putting others down, just for the sake of making him look better than others? If so, then I don't want to be around people like that. It's not a very attractive mentality.

6.) If He Respect His Mother: His loyalty to his family/mother will prove to me, how loyal he may be, if we ever plan on having kids and raising a family. Bascially, if he respects his own mother, then there is some potential that he's "marriage material."

7.) Spontaneity Is he the routine kinda guy? If so, then I can't hang with that. I love passion. If Mr. Right helps to uplift my life, by adding a little bit of spice to it, through his personality, and our bonding, then he's the #1 keeper. (I personally like a guy who doesn't mind hanging out at the archades, or doing other fun activities like boogie boarding, anything that's fun and keeps us feeling young.

 

(I.E. Cooking dinner together. Spending those quiet nights over candle light dinner and watching a movie, or even going out to dance. I also like it when a guy and I can hang out at the beach and do spontaneous things, like piggy back rides, doing things that kids do. Fight in the sand. Chase each other around. Tease and make fun of each other, and then sharing those tight hugs and butterfly kisses. Random things. I think that these little things are what keep me interested in a guy. It helps to let go of the seriousness, daily routines of life, in order to enjoy life a little more; thereforeeee helps to keep the relationship rejuvenated. It's the simple pleasures that count! O I guess sponteneity is what I look for as part of the emotional aspect of a relationship. I'd also have to bond with a guy on a adult level as well.)

 

I hope this list isn't too intimidating. I like to get down to business. No messing around! If I can't find these qualities in a guy, then I'd rather remain friends, and keep things at a distant.- Mahlina

[DopeStar]

Sorry NittanyKitten but you are going to become my example, no offense intended and this is not directed at you personally... Now that we are clear on that, carry on.

 

Pay attention guys and you will see how they don't know what they want, all you can do is pay attention to how they act and react to things and judge what they need from that and that is the best answer you will have to your question.

 

And now for my arguments.

 

If you really want to know, listen to the song "B*tch" by meredith Brooks. It describes how we are perfectly.

 

There you go guys, the TRUTH, they don't know what they are or want, atleast not around there early to mid twenties, some even later in life(I haven't made it that far yet though, so I digress about girl over the age of say 30)

 

All we really want its to be accepted, good and bad, for who and what we are. We don't want to be told or made to feel as though we need or have to change.

 

Guys accept girls to easily already, I don't understand where this comment comes from. Also, why do you let some guys opinion of you take such an emotional toll on you. He's just a guy, there are 3 billion more of them out there why not ditch the guy that doesn't like who you are and find someone who does?

 

Believe it or not, comments about weight, looks, or personality, even when meant as a joke, can and will make us feel like we have to change just to keep you happy. And, because we want you to be happy, we will sacrifice our own happiness, wants, and needs for you guys. Talk about and act of devotion, caring, and love.

 

Again why let someone else define you? Are you not happy enough with who you are that you need some guys "opinions" to feel better and mold you into an object of desire, is that really what you want to be?

 

Also if you feel you have to change for me, don't bother. I do not want a fake girl in my life and I can't understand why you would want to be fake anyway.

 

The problem here is we aren't always happy doing these things.

 

Then why do them? Life in not a fashion show, it's more of game, one we should enjoy, not degrade ourselves for.

 

We like who we are and don't want to change.

 

Good for you, that's how it should be.

 

But, we will anyways,

 

Why??????????????????

 

and we'll appear to be happy, because we want our men to be happy.

 

If your man is not happy with you why are you with him? This is a sign that things are not good in your relationship. Also your lying to him, not cool.

 

If men would just accept us (good and bad traits)

 

NO, I will not accept someone or something I do not want. Never ask me to do this again, I will continue to tell you no. This is my right.

 

which means stop avoiding us those 5 days of the month when we are cranky.

 

NO again, I will not be your emotional tampon, If you are in a bad mood I will not let you take it out of me, I did not cause this to happen to you, expect on those days to be alone, wallow alone or learn how to handle it. If I brake my arm and I am in a bad mood I would expec to be alone, no one wants to hang out with someone who is complaining and sad. Beside you have your girlfriends and icecream, you don't need me.

 

It's not like you guys have never been pissy in your lives!)

 

Then avoid us, when we see that you don't hang around when we are in a bad mood, we will, like dogs do, associate those to things and learn.

 

we wouldn't have to hurt ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally by trying to conform to what they want us to be.

 

Get help if a you start to hurt yourself physically, mentally, or emotionally over a guy. This is called obsession.

 

In turn, we can make you happier, because we, ourselves, are happier.

 

True, if you are happy we will be happy to be with you as long as all the other conditions are met also.

 

 

OK did anyone learn anything from this? I did.

 

Oh, by the way NittanyKitten, I was serious about the lying thing, for this reason and others but if you are not happy who you are then how can you expect anyone to be happy with you? I am not saying you aren't but you came accross that way.

 

Again I'm not here to offend anyone but I could not let these statements go unabated.

 

 

 

I almost forgot to mention, not all girls are like this, but you asked a very general question OutLaw so here is my generalized answer.

[theghost]

DopeStar,

 

I don't know about you, but sometimes change is a good thing....

IF 90% of the people are telling you you need to loose weight or something, then you should take them into consideration. People are suppost to change for their own sake, and everyone around them...

 

I don't know why you said to leave a girl when they are piss or moody, if my gf was like that I will surely let her lean on my shoulder, thats what bestfriends are for...right?

 

if you where piss or angry, wouldn't you want to talk to someone?

most people don't go for help because they think they don't need it, but when your gf tells you that you need help, then lisen....

 

Thats just me tho, I like to be there for people, on bad or good days...

[DopeStar]

This post was started on the idea that they want to meet new women, not that they already have a GF or there best female friend is confusing them, am I right on that???.

 

My views are based on that perspective, If I just met a girl or it's during the first few months of our time toegether I will not sit around and listen to them whine about "that time of the month". That is not something that I should feel obligated to do, I did say that they have there girlfriends and icecream. Also I did not say leave(or dump as you make it sound), I meant I will not sit around and listen to them DURING THAT TIME, that doesn't mean you should break up with the girl but my name isn't Kotex either, when it's over and they're in a better mood I'll be around.

 

I never said change was bad either, I pointed out though that if you are changing for a person you are interested in you are not being fair to them or yourself. If there is interest from that person then why the need to change for them, or flip that, why do you think someone should change for you? Is that fair to them? No, move on to the next one. There is someone you will like out there.

 

And yes if I was angry I would want to talk to someone, that's what friends are for, not your new GF.

[theghost]

This post was started on the idea that they want to meet new women, not that they already have a GF or there best female friend is confusing them, am I right on that???.

 

NO, it could be any type of woman, friend, enemy, girlfriend, etc.

 

I never said change was bad either, I pointed out though that if you are changing for a person you are interested in you are not being fair to them or yourself.

 

You made it sound like you did, change is good, for the most part. I think if a girl changes for me I would definitely like her more, but it also depends on what they change...

I don't want them to change their personality...just improve it, I like girls that improve their qualities, but are to to obsebsive about it.

 

And yes if I was angry I would want to talk to someone, that's what friends are for, not your new GF.

 

Girlfriend

[NittanyKitten]

DopeStar... no offense was taken. To be perfectly honest, that response wasn't completely my own. My mom decided to take over the computer when she read the post by Outlaw. Although, it is me who likes Gizmo, LOL...

 

I'm somewhere in agreeance with a lot of things said here so far. We don't know exactly what we want. This kind of makes the question unfair. We can't fully answer it. We could probably tell you some of the things we would like in a guy, but not everything. It varies from woman to woman, and also from guy to guy. We might like some things in one guy, but not like those things in another. Don't ask... it gets confusing sometimes for even us. It all depends... some guys just shouldn't have certain triats. They clash with their nature and personality.

 

I don't think anyone should change for anyone, other than themselves. If your partner wants you to change, and you don't want to, then don't! If a person can't love you for you, which includes your flaws, then they aren't worth your time.

 

As to the not avoiding someone issue... I'm kinda split down the middle on this one. I know I, personally, do not want to be avoided just because I'm menstrual, or just in a bad mood. This actually tends to make it worse, or the moodiness to last longer. I don't know about most women, but in the cases of me and a lot of my friends, when we blow up on a guy due to crankiness for no reason or by blowing something out of proportion, we usually appologize almost instantly. In the cases that we don't appologize right away, it comes later that same day after we've had a chance to calm down. It's when I'm avoided just cause I'm in a bad mood that I tend to get impatient and pissy towards that person all the time. But then again, if I'm constantly exploding on someone, I'm usually the first person to tell them to leave me alone for a while! But it's actually nice to know that atleast someone likes me enough to stick around even when I'm cranky.

 

Just like if a guy I'm with is in a bad mood, I'm not going to avoid him just because he's cranky. I'd rather put up with his attitude until I can manage to cheer him up some, than ignore and avoid him. But, if he's not cheering up any, then I will leave him alone for a while.

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't avoid someone (friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend) if they're being pissy. I'm saying you shouldn't avoid them right away. But if the attitude doesn't lighten up at least a little after a while, then yes, by all means stay away until he/she cools down!

 

A bf/gf should be like a best friend. You should be able to talk about anything and everything with this person! Cranky, pissy, or menstrual, you should be able to talk, vent, comfort, etc. to and with this person.

 

Change is bad, unless it's done for yourself because you want to change. NEVER because anyone else thinks you should. Improving, though, is something completely different. But it's not something we can always control. Yes, we are in control of our looks, and that's an improvement we can control. Personality, on the other hand, isn't something we can really control the improvements on. This just kind of improves and developes more as we get older and go through more and more experiences.

 

Ok... I think I'm done for the moment...

[Free Lancer]

hmmm.. What do we really want... well at the moment I want Icecream... hehe

 

Nah seriosuly, in my opinion we can't tell you what we want because we honestly don't know.

There are general things in guys we want-

A good looking guy... but then if they are TOO good looking they get all up themselves

Somone with a good personality, personality is everything these days.

But it is up to each individual girl what a 'good' personality is. We all want different things.You just have to find out yourself.

PLUS if we didn't have a few secrets where would all the fun be

[Caldus]

hmmm.. What do we really want... well at the moment I want Icecream... hehe...

 

LOL, great answer...

 

I say stop worrying about what they want and start by figuring out what you want in a girl. Just be yourself about it and don't worry about it so much either. If you two click then good. Otherwise, just keep trying.

[JonnyG]

lol, i told u, the young girls dont seem to know what they want. Hence probably why so many guys like myself who treated their ex like royality, made them laugh and had a great time with them, are still not together and dont know why ( i know why in my case but wont good into details but i did nothing wrong and she thinks im great) considering your the best thing that probably happened to them.

 

To quote many who have spoken here, and what my ex said to me (we still talk occasionally by tx), the girl says "Your too good for me and I dont deserve you" ,which unfortunately at least in my case was true but i love her to bits so i dont care, and im sure many others are like this. The girl then goes out with some real jerk after, why o why, we will never know. The older women dont do this (well not as often), hence why i suggestd they would be good to listen to as they will probably be looking or are already married and thereforeeee can give a good answer.

[Outlaw2747]

Wow, pretty intersting answers. I agree with Gizmo (can I call you that bro? lol) The young girls seriously do not know what they want. I think it would be alot easier to find a suitable girl when she is older. Right now, most girls around my age are in the "drifter" stage. And the "I need to be popular" stage." And the "flirting" stage. I alrwady know what I want in a girl and I do not expect much at all. Everyone is going to have flaws, heck I have plenty of them. But as long as you try to improve and realize those flaws, things will run more smoothly I guess. I'm not going to quote anyone because alot of sensible comments were made by everyone and I agree for the most part with everyone, mainly Gizmo.

 

True this question is sort of unfair but I like to know why even bother a guy if you have no clue what you want? That just screws everything up, and trust me, I have been subject to this in a really bad way. You got to maintain one mindset about something and if it works, please stick with it. And looking before you leap works well.

[DopeStar]

I'm sure I sound angry... really though it's just frustration, so get my point.

 

JonnyG, you are now my example, please fasten you seatbelt.

 

the girl says "Your too good for me and I dont deserve you"

 

Becuase you are boring and unadventerous and treating them to well. You put her on her pedestal, told her she was gold, proved to her she was gold and she decided to find someone better since you gave her all the confidence she needed to do so.

 

,which unfortunately at least in my case was true but i love her to bits so i dont care,

 

She lied to you, it's not true, she does not think your to good for her, that's how they let down nice guys, by trying to make them feel better so they don't have to watch you cry, when in all actuality your not enough fun anymore or enough of a challenge. You should not love this women, she dumped your because she thinks you dull, you should move on with your life since she doesn't have any interest in you anymore.

 

and im sure many others are like this. The girl then goes out with some real jerk after, why o why, we will never know.

 

Because jerks are more fun then you, stop fawning over this girl, she dumped you because you bored her. The jerk she's with now, isn't not treating her nicely but he has provided a challenge and brought some adventure into her life. He radiates confidence and doesn't need her, he is better then her in her eyes, so he becomes the object of her desires, women date up, not down.

 

NOW you know.

 

The older women dont do this (well not as often), hence why i suggestd they would be good to listen to as they will probably be looking or are already married and thereforeeee can give a good answer.

 

No because they've been there and are tired of being treated badly, their experiences have shown them the truth and now they want a nice guy, not even a nice guy but a MAN. So until your older don't expect to swoon a girl with flowers and chocolates.

 

The TRUTH is out now.

[Outlaw2747]

I guess I can pick apart a few quotes here.....

 

She lied to you, it's not true, she does not think your to good for her, that's how they let down nice guys, by trying to make them feel better so they don't have to watch you cry, when in all actuality your not enough fun anymore or enough of a challenge. You should not love this women, she dumped your because she thinks you dull, you should move on with your life since she doesn't have any interest in you anymore.

 

DopeStar may sound harsh (and I am just as bad as he is at times....lol) but he is correct. She is one of those girls looking for some sort of challenge. Funny though, how they take a challenge like trying to turn a bad guy good and then when they fail, all guys suddenly suck until the next hot guy comes by or the next nice guy comes by to instill her confidence. Technically us nice guys are deemed as boring, cowering, naieve beings in which isn't entirely true. What is true is that nice guys are used as boosters, we make them feel good and confident and when they do, they usually break it off making it seem harmless onlt to go after the replacement they had for you all along. She'll even wait a while o getting with a guy just so it seems that she did not dump you for Mr. Hotshot. Or she will just cheat or dump you harshly and don't care. Funny how girls take this so-called challenge and most wind up biting more than they can chew....

 

The girl then goes out with some real jerk after, why o why, we will never know.

 

The jerks are more fun than nice guys because of theihigh confidence (not alwys the case) and they think it is cute when you make a tough guy soft. Sorry but 9/10 times it ain't going to happen. They are better off trying to change a cynic and pessimist and see him open up than to change a guy who thinks only of himself and is really stuck up and treat girls like expendible beings.

 

The jerk she's with now, isn't not treating her nicely but he has provided a challenge and brought some adventure into her life.

 

All fun and games for her until he breaks her heart. Couldn't take the heat I guess....her adventure has come to an abrupt and HIGHLY EXPECTED end. I seen it over and over....

 

I say an older woman would be alot better to deal with since she is more experienced and more understanding of males and how they work. There are exceptions however. Seems to me the young teenage and early-mid 20 girls are just curious and messing around. Well most anyways, the rest either pay men no mind or actually want to be with someone. DopeStar and Gizmo both made really good comments here.

[DopeStar]

a guy who thinks only of himself and is really stuck up and treat girls like expendible beings.

 

And this is the reason they get the girls.

 

Aren't you guys tired of being an emotional tampon for these girls? I mean seriously do you see a pattern here.

 

"Nice guy" falls for "girl", treats "girl" like gold, "girl" feels so good about herself she leaves "nice guy" for "jerk". "Girl" fawns over "jerk", making him feel good about himself, "jerk" gets bored and moves on to next "girl". It's a cycle that we go through and the "nice guy" is on the bottom of the chain, the "jerk" in the middle and then there is "A man" at the top. there are very few men left though, mostly because "nice guys" turn into "jerks" when a "girl" moves on to the "jerk". Most guys never make it to "a man" and that is truly sad.

 

I have said it before and I will repeat it now.

 

We will never know for sure what they want, they will never tell you what they want and if they do, it's not true because they don't know, we will never get inside of there heads but what we can do is take notice of them, pay attention to how they act and react to things, and from that, we can make conclusions as to what we need to do.

 

It's a game guys, as much as you don't want to believe or play it, it is and if you don't take the time to learn the rules and play, then you cannot win.

[Outlaw2747]

Really good points yet again DopeStar! Bottom of the food chain nice guys are. A man I am gussing by your standard is a guy who does treat a girl with respect but does not spoil her, cares about her and knows when a girl cares about him, really nice but is more open and has fun but also can stand on his own two feet if a girl decides to get rowdy and abomninable and doesn't take anything from anyone. But he is able to get out of situations without violence. Basically an experienced male who for the most part knows the rules of the game. A "man" has many definitions according to different people.

 

But back to the food chain, nice guys are down there. But have you noticed most nice guys (including myself) can easliy become "men" if they only change one thing about them? Not to say some nice guys aren't men....they go hand to hand on some occasions. I get what DopeStar meant, I am just somewhat trying to clarify it.

 

As for this love game, it is basically rush n' roulette. A game of chance except there is a bullet in every chamber except one. it is very weird how a girl wants to be with a stuck up guy but then trun around and say men are pigs, guys stink, he's stuck up, etc. etc. Your biological food chain you have made DopeStar is pretty darn accurate but it doen't happen in all cases. But that is most cases however. Pretty good ideas man.

[DopeStar]

A man I am gussing by your standard is a guy who does treat a girl with respect but does not spoil her, cares about her and knows when a girl cares about him, really nice but is more open and has fun but also can stand on his own two feet if a girl decides to get rowdy and abomninable and doesn't take anything from anyone. But he is able to get out of situations without violence. Basically an experienced male who for the most part knows the rules of the game.

 

You are very close so I will only add one comment, A man does not need a women...

 

Also, there will always be exceptions to every rule, so yes a nice guy can win but you are probly not that one nice guy. So change you ways, stop needing girls, they aren't there to complete your life, they should just compliment it.

[theghost]

DopeStar,

 

you made some interesting points, and I find them hard to believe, but in the end most are true...

 

I am a nice guy myself, and reading your post makes me want to be more of a jerk. But me being a nice guy...I can't...

 

yes, a guy can live without a woman, but not without friends.