is ex being horrible for no reason normal "ex" behavier?

[ned2010]

is there anyone else who has this problem from there ex? or is this a normal ex defence mechanism thing?

[Grown]

In my opinion it's pretty normal. They're angry and hurt even if they were the one to initiate the break up.

 

I suggest NC until they can quit being an all around * * * * * * * . No sense in subjecting yourself to that treatment.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's normal. It's immature and really shows their true colours. This is who they really are.

 

You dodged a bullet.

[kampuniform]

Standard operating procedure. If they’re angry, that means that you have their undivided attention. A Persian proverb: There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub, and danger also for whoso snatches a delusion from a woman.

[IsThisIt]

I suspect that often they are doing it just to try to make you feel less bad about being dumped -- they've got a lot of guilt to deal with that they want to minimize. The basic explanation is cognitive dissonance -- strong feelings of guilt are incompatible with the belief that you are a good person, and so one of those two has to go, and when you have two incompatible beliefs and one puts yourself in a positive light while the other puts yourself in a negative light, the latter belief has to disappear. But its tough to hold fast to the belief that you are a good person if you are willing to not feel guilty about causing obvious suffering to someone who trusted you to care about their feelings. So, the only option left is to get the dumpee to agree that the break-up was the best course of action, and being an absolute * * * * to them helps with that.

[Tired Tiger]

Define "horrible".

[HeartGoesOn]

This can be avoided by not putting yourself in the line of fire.

[ned2010]

Define "horrible".

 

rude,harsh or to put it simple... talk to you like scum

[Tired Tiger]

rude,harsh or to put it simple... talk to you like scum

 

I'm going to disagree with those who say this is "normal", based on my own experience. What does create an atmosphere for such behavior (other than some people just being mean by their nature) is pressure, contact without detachment first, and expectations. As HeartGoesOn said, remove yourself as a target.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I meant to say it ISN'T normal.

[ned2010]

if an ex acts anything but calm around you its pretty much down to insecurity id guess