tired of living

[tiredofliving]

I've been in and out of therapy for 13 years. Dealing with so many issues. Lots of lost. I'm a gay black man living in NYC. I think of killing myself everyday. Most of the times I believe it's best. Only because I feel it's the only way out. So allowing myself to get closer to actually doing it...............seems more convincing.

 

Life and people are so cruel. People and love ones are so ready to hurt you........abuse you.........and leave you in a heart beat. I just can't take it anymore. I've been thru it all.....sexual abuse.......abuse...mental abuse........rejection from the love of my life.......it all keeps piling up.

 

 

my question is..........is there really a hell?

[kdreger]

Yes, there is a hell and you're living it. Life can be heaven or hell - it's really up to you but this has nothing to do with religion.

 

I know it's hard but it seems that whenever people are miserable it is because they are alone and feel unwanted. The greatest freedom you can gain is when you learn to love yourself and not need confirmation of your worth based on other peoples opinions of you.

 

This is especially important for you, as gay people live on the fringe of society. Quite honestly, a large percentage of society are unacceptable of homosexuals. It's a mirror of black culture - it's battle for equality.

 

To escape these feelings of hopelessness and be able to not only survive the cruelties of life but overcome them you have to accept the inherent insensitive of humanity because of it's selfishness and ignorance.

 

Once you accept that, you must stop looking to society for self-worth. Who are these people to tell you your worth? Who made them capable of judging you? No one. You are as special and important as anyone else on this planet - special for your individual beauty and power.

[oxygen_lsv]

you can talk to me...

[thisisnotanexit]

you're a very brave person and i admire you. this world can be cruel, i understand. but you're so much better than that, you can get out of the bad situation. do whatever you have to do to get away from the people, places and things that bother you so. never doubt your self worth and remember you are not alone. suicide (and cutting, etc.) is not a subject to be taken lightly. it's scary and i've recenetly dealt with it personally. if you or anyone you know ever considers it, please reconsider. life is too precious and there are other ways to cope; it solves nothing. please keep this in mind and remember that the dark clouds will lift. you are not alone, remember that. this too shall pass and you will see that. Yo'ure too young to give up now. Find a hobby, surround yourself with people, find a hobby, learn to play an instrument, watch a good movie, whatever it takes to get your mind off of the current situation. You will see, things will get better. You're not alonoe. contact me if you want, take care

 

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[i_hate_the_world47]

there is a hell.And i agree that u r living it.But this will al pass.You have to stay alive so that u can expericenc the good things

 

Meagan

[hardcore]

with out that we are allready dead . i say on to you don't slip into the forever nigth with out knowing there is a friend out there to talk to one who can give you hope :scramble:

[Dubz]

i feel for u, i know where ur coming from, i've had loved ones leave me and its not nice, u feel like no one loves u and that no ones gunna be there for u, but believe me this will pass and it will get better, i wish u all the best.