Greatly confused

[Gangrell]

Geeze, where to begain.

 

New member, Hi all.

 

After moving from California to Wyoming for a nannying job, I finally met a four year long Internet buddy, that happened to be a friend of the people I work for. We have always been good friend over the net and did the playfull flirting and teaseing. Well we "hooked up" while she was visiting and it was good, we decided that we whould see more of each other because we shared friends. Become friends with benifits if you will.

 

Well ever sense I have heard from others that she is absolutly crazy about my performance,best shes had and so on. I'm happy that she enjoyed it so but latly our conversations seem to have more to them. I think shes great but I don't want emotional attachment because I can make her orgasm intensly and multiply.

 

I am confused because I like her, but all this attention from her and others over this act (I have only been with one other person) is making me really uncomfortable. Is there anyway to find out if she likes me for just my performance, or for more? Should I just keep her at arms reach as a simple friend?

 

Any advice is welcome.

[Princess777]

Greetings.

 

I understand you feel confused about your feelings for this girl because you feel that she might only like you for one reason.

 

I suggest that you take sex out of the picture for a moment. If this issue didn't exist, how would you feel about her? Do you find her fascinating, attractive, is the chemistry good, does she respect you and your feelings, can you trust her, and do you care about her for who she really is? The answers to these questions should help you figure out where she stands in your life.

 

It sounds to me like maybe she's scaring you off a little because she's bragging about you, and you possibly feel there is no thrill of the chase anymore.... I understand that in men, this is an important factor.... they have to feel like they're accomplishing something, and if it's too "easy" then they quickly lose interest. Do you think any of this could be it? You might want to have a talk with her and tell her that you feel your sex life is private, only between you and her, and that you would appreciate it if she would keep that information between the two of you. And while you are extremely happy and flattered that she finds you irresistible in bed, that you are only concerned with satisfying her and not to put yourself on display.

 

If she continues to make you uncomfortable then she may just be inexperienced in that department and possibly a little immature at handling that spectrum of her life, so you may need to evaluate whether she is a good match for you.

[Gangrell]

Thanks alot.

[jessijess]

Stop having sex with her for a little while just to find out how you feel about her & to see how she acts around you. If she becomes distant, then you know it was all about the sex. If she happens to ask what's up with the lack of action, just be honest with her.

[EatZ]

I've found that it's sometimes hard to separate the two. Namely, the fact that she's falling for you at the same time that you've started to have [mind-blowing] sex.

 

I think you're right in suspecting that it's partly post-coital attachment which is heightening her feelings for you. All the same, I don't think you should discount her feelings because of this. She obviously feels that sex with you is incredibly passionate and intimate, and that you know her so well (unlike anyone else has in the past) that you make her feel absolutely amazing.

 

Add to that the fact that you've known each other for 4 years without having met each other I think shows that she DOES like you a lot already. Perhaps more than a friend! Why else would she have kept in contact for so long? Just a thought...

 

I'm not saying your concerns aren't justified, but love is a mix of different things for some people. Women are generally very affectionate, visual/physical beings. Now that she knows this other aspect about you, it's quite possible that it's adding to her becoming even MORE head-over-heels for you! Don't be scared by this, but take it how you want it.

 

Good luck.

[Gangrell]

Thanks everyone, I think I wll try and ease off with the sex, and see what happnes, and then if and when we talk about it, I will ask her some things that Eatz made me think of. Thanks all again!