Observation

[Princess777]

This is just an observation.... I find it rather enlightening to read many of the posts on this site from men who appear to feel similar to the way we females do when we are going through a personal crisis. Why is it that when a man cries or shows any type of sadness, our twisted society sees it as a weakness? I hope that with this site, that perception will change. Up until about a year ago when I found this site, I admit I didn't think there were men out there who actually thought about and suffered like females generally do during a breakup, a family crisis, or a personal problem. And if they did suffer, I didn't think there were any of them who would actually admit it and talk about their true feelings. This site allows everyone, males and females, to see that it's not wrong to feel sad or guilty or hurt, and that it is a natural human process. I think it teaches all of us to be emotionally honest. If you cannot honor the feelings inside, you cannot heal. It also informs everyone that society has imposed a very twisted, distorted perception of masculinity and femininity. It brings us all together to help us understand one another, and that is valuable. I think this site is absolutely awesome for anyone, regardless of gender, age, race, etc., to vent, ask for help through a hard time, and to offer their opinion. I hope everyone benefits from it as much as I do. Just wanted to say thanks.

[lunatic]

Princess777,

 

I totally agree with your comments about this site being a great place of comfort. I know that enotalone has helped me out when I needed it the most. I too would like to say thanks to all the members that have and are helping each other out. I would like to also thank the Moderating Team and the Royal Members for their dedication to this site! I know now what they are doing and it is more involved than most people think.

 

Thank you!

 

Hubman

[Derek]

yes, men feel...

 

They may not express it like women want though.

 

Perhaps guys that are upset would go chop wood or go for a walk and stew, maybe the ladies would talk to their friends, or go garden or shop

or something. And vice versa sometimes I bet. Though it is a very rare thing for a guy to tell his friends his weaknesses. He'd go out to watch a game or play poker with friends or something, but doubtful he's say anything about feelings, he'd probably only say that stuff to his woman if at all.

 

Yes the stereotypes of guys and girls are still around.

What I find interesting is how even girls are looked down on if they are too girly too. Guys are looked down upon if they are too girly or too macho too. Seems to be confusing times these days.

 

Why can't people be free to be themselves?

 

 

[northernlights]

Another great thread.

 

Before coming here, I honestly thought that guys were emotionless when it came to relationships and that they lost interest in a girl quickly. I never knew that they thought so much like me. Like if there's a guy I like and one day doesn't work out so well with him, it doesn't mean I'll just stop liking him, though I honestly thought guys' minds worked like that.

 

Glad that my perception has changed. It makes the world look like a more equal place, plus I don't have to keep worrying that one thing I said turned off a guy who's liked me for months.

 

Plus, there's so many "nice guys" on this forum. I love you nice guys. Seriously, I do! ^^

[Princess777]

I agree. Society has definitely put some dysfunction into our lives with the stereotypes of men and women. It promotes being someone you're really not, just to fit into the dysfunction. I know what you mean, how women get chastised too, for being too girly or too strong, and the same with men..... I guess the best thing for everyone is to just be themselves and to heck with what people think. I think true emotional honesty and inner peace will come from first being honest with ourselves before even thinking about making any type of relationship work.

[PAdreamer]

You know, most of what I see is men showing emotion, and both men and women consoling them. I want to know why, when men show emotion it's considered being open and honest, but when women are emotional we're drama queens?!

[Princess777]

PAdreamer, I know what you mean. That's what I meant when I was talking about the way society has made everyone think that they have to perform on a certain emotional level in order to fit in, and it is not true!!! We should just be ourselves and if something doesn't feel right inside of US, then change that about ourselves because we want to, not because society or other people in the general vicinity don't approve. If it feels right to cry, to vent, to talk, to write, whatever, then do it. I think a lot of suppressed emotions are the root of a lot of psychological problems. We have to let go of the past in order to move into the future. So many problems on this site are difficult to give advice to because most of them just want someone to LISTEN. Just responding sometimes makes me feel bad because I might not have the right words but I just want them to know that I care. I think that people who are taught from childhood to suppress emotions get bottled up with all kinds of feelings.... those feelings are energy, and they can't just disappear... they have to go somewhere. Every thought is energy and it needs some sort of attention or it will manifest itself into a disease in our bodies. That's what I believe anyway.

[piscesprincess]

That was very poignant. Men are still brought up to never show emotions outwardly even after all these hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Actually, I was having this discussion with someone. I truly believe that with conditioning of modern society that men & women will switch roles not totally, however. There may be a balancing act of sorts where men are accepted for being 'human', emotional beings while women can be strong and independent w/o being labled B---h

 

It's a very accurate observation my fellow 'princess'.