How to Keep a Man's Interest

[inlove32]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 14 months now, and things were great for the first year, but for these last couple months, I've been feeling like he's losing interest. We haven't had a lot of alone time lately because he's been wanting to go out clubbing with a group of people. So we've been going out with some mutual friends and having a good time, but I miss how things used to be. I've talked to him about it and he just says that I'm overreacting, and that he's just trying to have a good time, in addition to spending time with me. He's been very distant with me lately. I feel like the only time he shows affection is when we're having sex, and it never used to be like that. I don't know what to do to get his attention and keep him interested.

[RYAN80]

You have left the honeymoon stage plain and simple. This is make or break time for your relationship and you have to realize that. All you can do is have a talk with him when it is good for both of you and tell him your fears and concerns and that you want to make him happy and that you also want to be happy. If you two have a solid relationship this time will pass and you'll go onto the next stage of the relationship. I do understand where your at though because as a guy we have a tendency tobecome distant over time and I wish we would'nt but a lot of us do. And no-it does not mean we don't love you or want to leave

[hella]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 14 months now, and things were great for the first year, but for these last couple months, I've been feeling like he's losing interest. We haven't had a lot of alone time lately because he's been wanting to go out clubbing with a group of people. So we've been going out with some mutual friends and having a good time, but I miss how things used to be. I've talked to him about it and he just says that I'm overreacting, and that he's just trying to have a good time, in addition to spending time with me. He's been very distant with me lately. I feel like the only time he shows affection is when we're having sex, and it never used to be like that. I don't know what to do to get his attention and keep him interested.

 

i think all men the same in long time relation. men are not like women.most of them (men)want some time alone and they show affection mostly in sex. as long as he is saying he loves you, there is no need to worry.

[RYAN80]

That's a good point about sex and guys because it's true

[Jd1983]

Is there a way you can have a little weekend getaway together?

 

Aside from him being less attentive with you, how do you act towards him?

[inlove32]

You have left the honeymoon stage plain and simple. This is make or break time for your relationship and you have to realize that. All you can do is have a talk with him when it is good for both of you and tell him your fears and concerns and that you want to make him happy and that you also want to be happy. If you two have a solid relationship this time will pass and you'll go onto the next stage of the relationship. I do understand where your at though because as a guy we have a tendency tobecome distant over time and I wish we would'nt but a lot of us do. And no-it does not mean we don't love you or want to leave

 

You're right, I guess the honeymoon stage is over. And, it's good to know that his distance doesn't necessarily mean that he's getting over me.

[inlove32]

i think all men the same in long time relation. men are not like women.most of them (men)want some time alone and they show affection mostly in sex. as long as he is saying he loves you, there is no need to worry.

 

It's good to know he's not the only one who predominately shows affection during sex; thank you so much.

[inlove32]

Is there a way you can have a little weekend getaway together?

 

Aside from him being less attentive with you, how do you act towards him?

 

Ironically, we went away last weekend to Orlando. Except, we brought a mutual friend along with us, because like I said, he's been wanting to hang out in groups lately. I really wanted it to just be us, because I thought that would strengthen our relationship, but he decided to invite her as well because he thought it would be more fun.

 

I act very affectionate towards him, that the thing. I'm tired of looking stupid, giving him all this attention, when I don't receive any in return. And, I've tried playing hard to get & leaving him alone for while, but that didn't work either.

[RYAN80]

I know what your going through. My ex used to tell me that she wanted to work on things and make everything better and was serious. I just sort of was like oh me too. I read in a book though the problem is is that men just don't know what to actually do at that point so it sort of stiffles them and their stuck in a ditch and don't know how to get out. It's just a communication thing tough I suppose. I did read on another thread and it was interesting-that woman are coddled and supported much more in life then men. SO what happens is woman are so used to by nature because of that being able to express themselves and resolve issues verbally whereas men are'nt really supported quite as much. They are taught to just suck it up and deal with it and stay strong and whatever comes comes-a female wrote that and it does make sense

[Lady Rashomon]

i think all men the same in long time relation. men are not like women.most of them (men)want some time alone and they show affection mostly in sex. as long as he is saying he loves you, there is no need to worry.

 

Actually, I highly disagree. When I was with my husband in the beginning, it felt like he was somewhat distant and removed (except for sex), but he became deeply affectionate over time. It took him a while to open up to me emotionally (he's not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve), but when he did, he was very sensitive and very loving.

[hella]

Actually, I highly disagree. When I was with my husband in the beginning, it felt like he was somewhat distant and removed (except for sex), but he became deeply affectionate over time. It took him a while to open up to me emotionally (he's not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve), but when he did, he was very sensitive and very loving.

 

i meant on their stage of relation. he may need some time alone. i agree with you that over time some men become more open up emotionally. but i think men shows more emotion through sex...