after the breakup

[im sandra dee]

After breaking up with the man that I was seeing, I miss him so and just want him to hold me in his arms. It was the right thing to do ending it so why I am feeling that I still want him? Damn is it possible that I fell in love with him? I didn't feel loved by him but I think that I may have fallen for him.

 

He responded this morning to a text message that I sent him after the break-up and something he said made me feel that I had hurt him although he didn't actually say those words. I was reading between the lines. Why didn't I stop to consider how he'd feel when I decided to break up with him? Why did I think that I didn't mean anything to him? Man have I got issues. He and I may not have been right for each other but my issues really got in the way of the break-up. I can't change it. I can't fix it. I accept those two things. I accept that life isn't perfect and we make mistakes sometimes and I'm gonna try real hard never to repeat this one in the future.

[star42]

I feel your confusion. I broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago and am almost 100% ready to make an attempt to get her back.

 

I realize now that I was uncommunicable with fears and personal preferences. She was one of my best friends before we started dating - I told her that i had feelings for her last year (we dated ~9 months). Our parents met, we went on vacation together, I was all but convinced we would get married (I even figured out how I was going to propose on our one year anniversary).

 

Slowly I began to feel suffocated. I never told her when I did - I just let it build up. Like you - I wonder about those things. Did I do the right thing in ending it? Is there a reason for all of this? Am I doing this for the right reasons? How screwed up am I?

 

One thing I have learned (through time, therapy, and good friends) is that you can fix things - just not everything right away. Learning from mistakes - through time and slow realization, as you said you have done - is the first step. I hope that whatever you decide to do, you have thought about it and take the necessary steps to not allow history to repeat itself and are prepared for your proper future.