Never worth it to try again.

[Nappeal]

My x and I broke up Friday the 13th (eek!) in August. We started 'rekindling' things about 3 weeks ago...no mention AT ALL about being together, but definitely might as well have been. It was wonderful. I felt SO good...I had healed enough as far as I was concerned to not let my emotions fk things up. Obviously I was wrong. He asked me 'do you like that we're hanging out together like this?', and my answer was 'I do. We get a relationship w out a relationship', and I meant what I said. Then came Tues night; we were supposed to hang out, but literally @ the last minute, as I'm getting ready to leave, I text him 'we're still on for this eve right?'. All I got back was 'sorry, tonight won't work, im sorry'. Ok, realllly rude, but whatever, and I instead get myself ready for the night @ home. We get together last night, and he CANNOT stay off his phone. Seriously, could NOT stay off. I said things all night about him being rude, but nothing changed and we went to bed way earlier then we usually do and laid on our separate ends of the bed. Something wasn't right. It clicked in my mind that hey, this is exactly how he acted soon before we broke up, and I have always assumed he dumped me to persue something w someone else. I can only guess that's what's going on now.

 

The reality is, we are not together (nor are we sleeping together, thank God). I am not angry to think he's talking to someone else by any means, BUT, I'm mad @ how rude he was. How he could just absolutely ignore me to chit chat w another chick...makes me a little upset to think about it that way. After I mentioned it to him this morning thru text, he blew me off and then just quit responding; didn't answer his phone after he said he'd talk @ lunch. I sent a few nasty texts this afternoon, but then sent another text later in the evening apologizing for being a bipolar mess. I get 'Ill call you in a few', sure enough, I got no call. That's ok too I guess cuz he never has called when he actually says he will.

 

@ this point I'm incredibly frustrated. A little hurt, but more pissed off. Being dissed the second time around doesn't hurt as much as it did before because I know I'm absolutely capable of NC, but it still blows. I thought I was doing a favor for our relationship (I'm expecting next month) by spending time w him, but in the end its just hurt me. I very much wish I just left him alone, and kept things friendly like they were before me started spending time w each other again. Its something that I really felt I wanted, but in the end, its so far from it.

[AutumnBorn]

If a girlfriend did this, would you be this upset? You aren't in a relationship with him, so I'm not sure why you are so upset.

 

Were you wanting to ease back into a relationship with him? Was that your intent? If so, being a doormat isn't the answer, nor is being too available. (Have you read The Rules?)

[TouchNastY]

Your bad on this one.

 

He sent a feeler out, and your response '[...]We get a relationship w out a relationship' (sic) said to him: I like that you invest your resources in me, and I'll never let this become a relationship. Following this, his next move was to match suit and show rather blatantly that he did not consider it a relationship either - hence the "sudden shift" in not meeting plans, talking on the phone, etc. You shut him down.

 

You basically said: I like juicing you for your time and effort, and it'll never become a relationship. At that point, he stopped investing either to save himself energy, to show you the consequences of your actions, or both. Honestly, you're not very self-aware.

[Pontius]

If a girlfriend did this, would you be this upset? You aren't in a relationship with him, so I'm not sure why you are so upset.

 

Were you wanting to ease back into a relationship with him? Was that your intent? If so, being a doormat isn't the answer, nor is being too available. (Have you read The Rules?)

 

 

 

I think it's pretty clear that she has feelings for him. Believe it or not, labels are not the most reliable indicators of deeper feelings.