seeking insight into an unfamiliar grieving process shared by a large group

[Rusty60]

Just about two weeks ago, the absolutely most unthinkable thing happened at my alma mater: A great, charismatic, colorful, very energetic professor died of a massive heart attack, in no time flat, in the middle of a major career achievement, while at the top of his game. He was 57 years young and it was, again, just unthinkable that this would ever happen. He left behind an amazing legacy that developed from his 33-year commitment to his job and literally thousands of students have been lucky to have called him their coach and mentor. I graduated from that school over eight years ago and live accross the country, but have maintained strong ties through friends and family (my whole family are alums). The distance has prevented me from getting together with other alums to grieve together, though I will be going back in two weeks for a big memorial extravaganza. In the meantime, I feel like this is the first time I've truly, fully grieved for someone's death--and I keep wondering why I feel this way about this person when I didn't about others who went before. What do you think about this? How long is it normal to grieve? I'm a busy person with plenty of things to keep me from being too too preoccupied, but he's in the background all the time and I wonder if two weeks is a normal time after which to still be heartbroken. I hope that my trip back to my alma mater provides the much-needed bonding with the others, the catharsis, the therapy, and the closure. Thanks for reading.

[catfeeder]

Your grief is perfectly valid. There are some people who will strike you as affecting the lives of many in addition to your own. This can amplify your grief into multi-dimensions because you're feeling the loss on behalf of many, not just yourself.

 

While it's difficult to grieve a private loss, this kind of loss is public and private at the same time. My heart goes out to you.