When girlfriend gets fat...

[AB]

What if your girlfriend started getting really fat? My GF gained 30 pounds over one summer after we moved in together. At first it kind of pissed me off, but then i started getting into her new fuller-figured body. When I told her that, it seemed to liberate her from the struggle of dieting and she continued to gain more weight (another 60 lbs). I'm glad she's happy, but sometimes wonder if she'll keep on getting bigger and bigger. Anyone else feel turned on by plumper women? What would you do in my shoes?

[Mercutio]

I think if it's something that's really important to you that your SO retain a slender figure, you should be up-front about it. Prepare to be called "shallow". I also think you should look at why she's gaining weight. Is she unhappy? Bored? Just not exercising? Does she keep up with you, bite-for-bite, portion-for-portion at meals?

 

I weigh in excess of 280lbs and I gotta tell you, it's really, really hard to get anywhere once the spiral of weight gain has started.

 

My (95lb) "ex" always told me that weight loss is something one has to do for oneself. For myself, I'd never take the first step. I never had any support in weight loss. She'd keep right on up with the fried foods and icecream while I tried to do unseasoned grilled chicken, and if she tried to exercise with me, she'd get upset that I couldn't keep up with her.

 

So a sincere offer to help - grounded in concern for her healt - and a great deal of patience MIGHT be exactly what she needs.

[AB]

Yes part of the weight gain must come from the fact that she eats the same as I do, and even more because I know she snacks more than I do. I'm about 10 inches taller and used to outweigh her by 70 pounds.

 

Is it an equality thing for a woman to feel like she should eat as much as her man?

[Mercutio]

OK. If you can see that, cut yourself down.

Seriously. Not that it's a competition. It just gets to be a bad habit.

 

Another thing: If you cook, take responsibility for what's going in the pot. If she does, try to pay a little attention to what she's cooking with. When I first learned to cook I would do stupid stuff like use an entire stick of butter, 'cause that's what the recipie book called for. I didn't know I could get away with a quarter of that. Buy extra-lean meat and eat a lot more veggies and fruits. Use reduced fat stuff for awhile.

 

And get off the couch and do things. Go hiking or dancing or something where there's an excuse to be active and to spend time with each other.

 

See if that helps.

 

Good luck man, and for what it's worth, your SO still looks pretty damn good to me.

[AB]

Thanks. I think she's hot too and that's part of what I was wondering if other guys have found themselves more attracted as their grlfriends gained weight. However, she's abut 20 pounds heavier than in that "after" pic now and may be crossing the border from plumpness into fatness.

[sisterlynch]

My husband started to look at porn on the internet and stopped being intimate with me as much. That really made me put on weight. I was depressed and started eating since I wasn't getting sex. The final straw was when he wanted to see (a second) very thin tall dark-haired coworker for drinks and what ever! I lost control, stopped eating so much, then when I started acting jealous, we started to make love all the time...almost constantly. Since then I have continued to lose weight as I am exercising everyday. I sometimes wonder why he didn't just encourage me to get healthy and lose weight without the added drama? Maybe he did and I didn't notice?

[AB]

After a feeding binge from Halloween through the holidays, her clothes don't fit and she want to go on a diet. We'll see how long this one lasts.

[frackledJJ]

Hi AB. The thing that worked really well with me was the following diet: During the day, and especially at breakfast time, she should eat very well and what ever she likes. She needs all the vitamins and stuff to go on eating healthy. Try to convince her to eat a warm meal at lunchtime and leave out on warm dinners. Instead, she should only eat fresh fruit and veggies after 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Especially things like cucumbers and peppers, which contain a lot of water, which is needed to get all the rubbish that is implanted in the - now burned - fat out of her body and help her liver and kidneys. What also works good is fresh, cut up pineapple. It starts up the fat-burning process. Grapefruit, eaten like an orange (simply peeled, with all the little papery skins and stuff, no added sugar) needs more energy to be digested than you get from it. Plus it tastes great and it really fills you up. Oat meal is very good for her stomach, in case all the friuty acids should not agree with her.

The thing is, all the food you eat is instantly turned into energy in your blood. So, if she eats normally during the day, she will have the energy she needs and does not need to cut down on a brownie or a pice of chocolat. So she will not get frustrated. But if she eats a lot in the evening, before getting to bed, the energy is not needed. So her body will put it "on hold", because it still thinks we are living in caves and the next food might be days to go. She has to trick her body. At the same time she's going to change her eating habits. And she can leave out for one night of the week. Thats ok. But with this diet, I loose over two pund a week, and I feel great while doing it! I miss nothing, but soon I will need another new belt for my fabvourite pair of pants! Good grief!!!

[Radix]

It is TOTALLY NORMAL For people to put on a few pounds after being wuth the same person for a while. After you get comfortable with your significant other, we tend to put on a few "comfort pounds".

[AB]

She's now up to 214 pounds. She weighed 105 when we first met. That's a lot of comfort.

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[pimpcess]

Stop bein so shallow minded and love her 4 her and not what she looks like.

[AB]

I do love her! Its not like I've forced her to go on a diet or anything... Some of her friends who knew her from her thin days have been much more critical

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[wishfulthinker]

ok..lets see..i think i can help-- well i have the same problem-- the only thing is that i'm the girl-- when i first started dating my boyfriend i weighed 135 then i went up to 235-- yep 100 pounds-- what i pig i am-- well it wasn't that i wanted to gain weight, but it seemed as if i took it out on the food-- all the problems i had i would eat, and that wans't right-- a little after i started gaining the weight-- my boyfriend had a terrible problem with it-- he started saying that i wan't atttractive and it came to the point where he didn't even want to touch me any more-- as a result i started eating and eating more-- thank god i got rid of that loser!!! i am happy now-- i've lost about 40 pounds but i've still got a long way to go-- if u truly love your girlfriend you should sit down and have a talk with her-- tell her that you are there for her if she is having any problems outside of your relationship-- and try to encourage her to join a gym or tell her that you'll work out with her- it'll serve both of you good-- well, good luck and hopefully you'll find some of my words helpful-- if you truly love her, don't focus so much on the weight, but on the person which she is inside- if my exboyfriend would have done this-- things would of been a whole lot different-- and i would have felt way better about myself-- although i must admit i still miss him-- no one deserves to be put down, due to their weight-- -wishfulthinker-

[Goincrazy]

Don't let it get ya down. Just think of it this way....More cushion for the pushin HAHA!

[eudoxus]

My girl gained weight when I went off to college. I was disappointed because she went from plump (supersexy IMO) to chubby/semi-chunky. We were together two years, and I accepted all her problems, her weight gain, everything. So she dumped me after cheating on me. It would've been nice if her weight gain made her completely unattractive to other guys

[AB]

I went through the same feeling initially, watching her go from a slim, cheerleader-type with a flat stomach to a plump girl with a belly. Somehow though, after a while, her new body started turning me on.

 

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