I can't believe this has happened

[turnera]

Oh, HELL no! No way in hell he would be around my child if he had done even ONE of those things you described.

[sweety74]

Yeah, I mean, Im trying to get the facts accross without overexaggerating, sometimes I have a habit of exaggerating just to make sure things are clear. Husband has this thing where if he wants the child to behave he will firmly sit the child on his backside. In this case, while doing this, our son threw his head back and hit the washing machine. It was not directly my husbands actions that led to this. But still I don't really find this kind of firmness acceptable. My husband had a very bad time dealing with our son's behaviour up to the age of about three when he would cry a lot during the night, wake up with nightmares or earaches and cry some times for up to an hour before we could get back to sleep. There was often no sympathy for our son, just my husband getting cranky that he could not sleep. I often asked him why the heck he wanted another child if he couldn't cope with the natural behaviours that children go through each phase of their lives. I hope he doesn't have any more children with anyone else because he just doesn't have the patience.

In saying this, he is great at spending time with our son, playing silly games with him, kicking the ball around, he will often read to him at night if I ask him to, he is a really great Dad the majority of the time.

[turnera]

I'm sorry, but NO man would EVER be allowed to put his hand/s around a child's neck.

 

NEVER.

 

Even if my own husband did this to our daughter whom I know he loves more than life, I would have him arrested. Just to 'wake him up.'

[sweety74]

I know. Its very difficult dealing with someone who can be completely lovely most of the time and then can get nasty at the drop of a hat. Thats why Im feeling that a split is the best thing unless he agrees to anger management/counselling and actually goes and some results show. Even then, its kind of hard to get back the feelings that have been destroyed due to the ongoing outbursts. As much as part of me wants to cling onto this messed up relationship, Im trying to have the strength to continue with the break up process.

[turnera]

Just think how happy your kids would be if you were in a relationship with a healthy, happy, NON-violent man. They DO exist.

[kiwinezzie]

if you are afraid to leave you 5 year old with him YOU should not be with him. this looks * * * * ty from the inside but in a year or two you might feel great for leaving. If you explain to the judge why you left you should have an easier time getting full custody and just let him see his son supervised .like take him to games where he will never be alone with him.

If you have the resources leave. then you'll be able to see things from the outside and clear your head, you were avoiding that confrontation but he refused to stop which is what got me.