Reconciling with best friend

[Leighton]

A few months ago, my best friend of 12 years and I got into a huge fight. Basically, I had held all my frustrations in and one day just blew up. We didn't talk for at least 2 months and in July I tried to get in contact with her again to ask if we could talk. I guess texting didn't get the message accross well, and it did more bad than good. So we told each other off and that was that.

 

I really started missing her, and realizing how petty our fight was after so long so I called her 2 days ago and asked her to meet up. She agreed, and we both talked it out and said it was childish and apologized. We caught up, but the atmosphere was different. It was a little bit like two strangers meeting for the first time. We've never gone this long without talking, so that could have been it but it was just weird. Even now when we text, it's like we have nothing to say.

 

We're going to the spa on Saturday, and hopefully things will progress again over time but I'm pretty worried that I damaged this friendship for good and things will never be the same again. Does anyone have an experience like this? Is there something I can do to have it be like the old times again? Will it ever even be the same?

[oceanichombre]

You have known this person a long time, how beautiful.

 

"I had held all my frustrations in and one day just blew up." You know not to do that again. What a beautiful thing to now know. So many future friendships will benefit. Reach for what you need. Learn to have fun yelling at people. It can be a clever, witty thing.

 

"I guess texting didn't get the message accross well, and it did more bad than good." Another beautiful lesson. This will nurture future friendships. Never speak of serious emotional issues via text. It is slow, and robotic.

 

"Is there something I can do to have it be like the old times again? Will it ever even be the same?" Friendships change. You can surely have the old times happen again. It will take time. Maybe it won't be like it was ever again. That is sad, people change and you can re-live it again with someone new. Love yourself first, and all that you learn through your mistakes.

 

To me, the greatest part of friendship is what we teach each other. A true friend accepts this, and forgives.

 

My friend and I... we fight sometimes because we are different in some ways. He complains a lot and I am random. It gets on our nerves. Sometimes we bicker over it and take a step back. Whenever we fight I think, "I may never talk to him again. his may be it" A few times I thought we were over. I was sad, but ok with it. But we reconnect, say what we feel, why we feel it, and because we both recognize potential in our friendship we continue being friends.

 

Some day, he may not want to be my friend anymore. Thats ok. I have a lot of friends. And I love myself. You cannot control how a person acts or feels, but you can control the grace and lightheartedness with which you accept people and yourself.

[oh no]

My friend and I had a falling-out a few months ago. It took months for us to start hanging out again, and now it's been a month or so and we're finally getting back on track. Take the lessons that you learned from the falling-out and apply them to your life and everything else will fall into place. Sometimes healing takes a little time. Enjoy what your friendship is right now (and the fact that you are being given the chance to rebuild) and eventually, it will be just as good, if not better, as it was before. Just make sure you utilize the lessons you learned.

[iBroken]

Fighting with a friend is like fighting with a boyfriend for the first time. Its awkward, but you regroup and reconnect.